Grams Jokes

Working for a Judge in a common pleas court, I saw many criminal defendants. One man facing drug charges proved unusually helpful. To determine the exact quantity of the illegal substance allegedly sold, the judge asked the prosecutor how many grams there are in an ounce.As both attorneys checked their notes, the defendant, who had not yet entered his plea, proudly announced, "There are 28.3 grams in an ounce, your honor." His attorney advised him to plead guilty.

Working for a Judge in a common pleas court, I saw many criminal defendants. One man facing drug charges proved unusually helpful.To determine the exact quantity of the illegal substance allegedly sold, the judge asked the prosecutor how many grams there are in an ounce.As both attorneys checked their notes, the defendant, who had not yet entered his plea, proudly announced, "There are 28.3 grams in an ounce, your honor."His attorney advised him to plead guilty.

once there was a little boy at the hospital because his grandpa had a heartattack.
litlle boy: grandma how did gramps have his heart atack
grams: well me and grandpa still do it
littleboy: ok
grams: so when we do it we do it to the church bells
little boy: ok
grams: whin the church bells go ding grandpa goes in and when the church bell goes dong grandpa comes out
little boy: oh ok
grams: but the ice cream truck went by and they went ding! ding! ding! ding! ding! and grandpa was trying to keep up.
little boy: oh

Bischoff, one of the leading anatomists of Europe, thrived in the 1870s. He
carefully measured brain weights, and after many years' accumulation of much
data he observed that the average weight of a man's brain was 1350 grams, that
of a woman only 1250 grams. This at once, he argued, was infallible proof of
the mental superiority of men over women. Throughout his life, he defended this
hypothesis with the conviction of a zealot. Being the true scientist, he
specified in his will that his own brain be added to his impressive collection.
The postmortem examination elicited the interesting fact that his own brain
weighed only 1245 grams. - Scientific American [March 1992]

Gotta Take Care of It Now
This fellow who had spent his whole life in the desert comes to visit a friend. He'd never
seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the RR tracks one
day, he hears this whistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is. Predictably,
he's hit -- but, only a glancing blow -- and is thrown to the side of the tracks, with some
minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.
After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party, one
evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the tea kettle whistling. He grabs a
baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the tea kettle into an
unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees
what's happened and asks the desert man: "Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?"
The desert man replies: "Man, you more...