Groundhog Jokes / Recent Jokes
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I'll bet you don't know what day this is?"
"Of course I do," he answered as if he was offended, and left for
the office.
The doorbell rang at 10 a. m., and when the wife opened the door, she was handed a box of a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1: 00 p. m., a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite chocolates was delivered.
Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home.
"First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed.
"I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!"
Q: What happens if the ground log sees its shadow?
A: We'll have six more weeks of splinters!
Q: Why was the groundhog depressed about his den?
A: He was having a bad lair day!
Q: What would you get if you crossed February 2 with a Christmas drink?
A: Ground Nog Day!
Q: What's green, has four legs, and jumps out of its hole on February 2?
A: The ground frog!
New York Mayor Bloomberg was bit yesterday by weather-forecasting groundhog Staten Island Chuck. When the attending physician was asked if there should be concern about infection, he replied, "No, Chuck will be fine."
This year, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union Address fell on the same day. As Air America Radio pointed out, "It is an ironic juxtaposition: one involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a
creature of little intelligence for prognostication, and the other involves a groundhog."
You celebrate groundhog day (cause ya believe in it!!)
What do you get when you cross a black guy with a groundhog?
Six more weeks of basketball.
There was 2 groundhogs on one side of the road and the one groundhog said I bet the grass on that side of the road would be good.
The little groundhog said just wait a minute and dug a hole under the road to the other side. By that time a old woman stop to take a piss right when the groundhog poped up the old woman pissed on him. He ran to the other side of the road and said you dont want to go over there because it rains so damn hard over there even the birds built there nest upside down.