Guido Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two Italian construction workers were in the field on anextremely hot day working.. the one says to the other "heyhow come we do all a da work and he gets all a da money?" pointing to the supervisor. The other says, "I don't know, go ask him." So Guido goes up to the supervisor and says "Hey, how comewe do all a da work and you get all a da money?" The supervisor says "Intelligence". Guido says "what is this intelligence?" The supervisor puts his hand on a tree and says "Hita myhand as hard as you can!" Guido winds up and with all his might tries to hit thesupervisors hand. Just as he almost does the supervisorpulls his hand away and Guido hits the tree! The supervisorsays "That's intelligence". Still smarting Guido goes back to his co-worker and hisco-worker says "Hey what did he say?" With a sheepish look on his face Guido puts his hand on hisface and says "hita my hand as hard as you can.. . "

Guess the following movie quotes. All movies were released between the years 1980 and 1989. Comedies, dramas, action, etc. Some are quite simple, and others are more difficult.

There are 37 items, followed by the answers at the bottom, so you may wish to save reading this for a less hectic portion of your day.

1) Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

2) We're on a mission from God.

3) People on' ludes should not drive.

4) This house is clean.

5) Shall we play a game?

6) Terrific!! I've got a trig mid-term tomorrow, and I'm being chased by Guido the killer pimp.

7) Back off man, I'm a scientist.

8) That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else.

9) I know a little German. He's sitting over there.

10) Can I borrow your towel, my car just hit a water buffalo.

11) Excuse me, Dick, I mean Rich, will milk be more...

Once upon a time, there were 3 Italian pigs. Giancarlo, the owner of a straw house, Antonio, the owner of a stick house, and Guido, the owner of a brick house.One day this nasty old wolf came up to Giancarlo's house and said, "I'm gonna huff, and puff and blow your house
down." And he did!So Giancarlo went running over to Antonio's house and said "Let me in, please, the wolf just blew down my house!!" So Antonio let Giancarlo in.Then the wolf showed up and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down!" And he did! Antonio and Giancarlo went running over to Guido's house and said "Let us in! The wolf just blew down our houses and we're scared!" So Guido let them in.The wolf caught up with them and said "I'm gonna huff, and puff and blow your house down." While he was huffing and puffing, Giancarlo and Antonio were scared! But Guido picked up the phone and called a friend.All of a sudden this big, black stretch limo drove more...