Hampshire Jokes / Recent Jokes

You're New Hampshire If you can name the four seasons, BUT
You're really NH if they're tourist, foliage, ski, and mud.
You're NH if you own flannel shirts, BUT
You're really NH if you wear a tie with one.
You're NH if you know the back roads, BUT
You're really NH if you drive them to avoid the toll booth.
You're NH if you own a pick-up truck, BUT
You're really NH if the truck is 4 wheel drive, has a gun rack, plow on the front, and a dog in the back.
You're NH if you attend church suppers, BUT
You're really NH if you consider it a night out on the town.
You're NH if you live in a white cape, BUT
You're really NH if there's a picket fence around the house, a garden in the back, a wood pile somewhere, and some used appliances on the front lawn.
You're NH if you say "Ames-es", BUT
You're really NH if you do all of your shopping there.
You're NH if you know everyone in town, BUT
You're really NH if more...

Alabama
Literacy ain't everything
Ya want fries with dat?
Alaska
Come, freeze your butt off
Arizona
Winter home to 150,000 snowbirds
Arkansas
At least we're not Mississippi
California
The Granola State
Nobody's actually from here
Fast reloading lanes available
The really long state
Colorado
Too wimpy to cross the mountains so we stopped here
Official home of the winter ski bunny
Connecticut
Way too close to New York
Delaware
You'll need a map to find us
So close to Washington you can smell it
Florida
The Gunshine State
Elephant Graveyard; where the old Republicans go to die
Senior citizen discounts available
Come, enjoy the humidity
The snow capital of the US
Georgia
Home of the Rednecks
Gateway to Florida
Confederate money welcome
Hawaii
Sure, we've got Interstates... drive on over
Book 'em Danno
Tom Seleck, Jack Lord, Don Ho - more...

Signs in the USA (mostly)
In front of a New Hampshire restaurant:
"Now serving live lobsters"
On the menu of a restaurant:
"Blackened bluefish"
In a Maine restaurant:
"Open seven days a week and weekends."
In a New Jersey restaurant:
"Open seven days a week and weekends."
On the walls of a Baltimore estate:
"Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
- Sisters of Mercy"
On a long established New Mexico dry cleaning store:
"Thirty-eight years on the same spot."
In a New York drugstore:
"We dispense with accuracy."
In a New York medical building:
"Mental Health Prevention Center"
On a New York convalescent home:
"For the sick and tired of the Episcopal church"
In a funeral parlor:
"Ask about our layaway plan."
In a clothing store:
"Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 more...