Handjob Jokes / Recent Jokes

Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner."

She's not there five minutes when a guy pulls up and says, "How much?" She says, "A hundred dollars." He says "Shit. All I've got is thirty." She says, "Hold on."

She runs back to Harry and says, "What can he get for thirty dollars?" Harry says, "A handjob." She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollars is a handjob. He says okay, she gets in the car, he unzips his pants, and out pops a simply HUGE penis.

She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back." She runs back around the corner and says breathlessly, "Harry, can you loan this guy seventy bucks?

Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner.

She's not there five minutes when a guy pulls up and says, "How much?"

"A hundred dollars."

"Damn. All I've got is thirty."

"Hold on," she says and runs back to Harry. "What can he get for thirty dollars?"

"A handjob," Harry replies.

She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollars is a handjob. He says okay, she gets in the car, he unzips his pants, and out pops a simply HUGE male unit. She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back."

She runs back around the corner and says breathlessly, "Harry, can you loan this guy seventy more...

3 gay guys are driving down a country road when their car breaks down. They walk for a mile or two before they come across an old farmhouse, so they go up and ask the old farmer who lives there, if they can spend the night until they can get a tow truck out here. The old man agrees but tells them that there is only one bed and the 3 of them will have to share it.
So the 3 gay guys get into bed and go to sleep. The first guy slept on the left, the second slept in the middle, and the third slept on the right. They wake up in the morning around the same time. The first guy says, "Wow, that was the best dream ever! I dreamt Brad Pitt was giving me the best handjob ever!"
The third guy says, "Wow, me too. I dreamt Tom Cruise was giving me the best handjob ever!"
The second guy says, "Hm, thats odd. I had the weirdest dream; I dreamt I was skiing."

Three travling salesmen needed a place to stay and found themselves at a small motel. The motel manager told them he only has one romm avalible with one bed. So all them men decide to sleep in the bed together. The next morning the man on the left side of the bed says
" Last night i had the best dream, a beatiful women was giving me a handjob."
The man on the other side os the bed says
" What a conincedence, I also had a dream that I was getting a handjob.
Then the man in the middle of the bed says
" Well I had a dream that I was skiing. "