Harry Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man seeing flashing red and blue lights in his rear view mirror pulls to the side of the road. A minute or so after coming to a stop, a police officer approaches the car.
The man says, "What's the problem officer?"
Officer: You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ticket you.
Man: No sir, I was going a little over 60.
Wife: Oh, Harry. You were going at least 80! [The man gives wife dirty look.]
Officer: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.
Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!
Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks! [The man gives his wife another a dirty look.]
Officer: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife: Oh, Harry, you never wear your seat belt!
The Man turns to his wife and yells, more...
Bill's friend Harry was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary.
His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes from zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat".
The next morning his wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Not sure when Harry gets out of the Hospital.
There was once a blonde who got a new house and she decied to name it afer the first thing she saw on TV and the first thing she saw was harry but so she named her house harry butt then she got a poodle and said it worked out so good last time she she said shed do it agian so the first thing she saw was crack so that was his name then one day she lost him and she called the police and said I looked all over my harry butt and couldnt find my crack
When the preacher's car broke down on a country road, he walked to a nearby roadhouse to use the phone. After calling for a tow truck, he spotted his old friend, Harry, drunk and shabbily dressed at the bar. "What happened to you, Harry?" asked the good reverend. "You used to be rich."
Harry told a sad tale of bad investments that had led to his downfall. "Go home,"
the preacher said. "Open your Bible at random, stick your finger on the page, and there will be God's answer." Some time later, the preacher bumped into Harry, who was wearing a Gucci suit, sporting a Rolex watch, and had just stepped out of a Mercedes.
"Harry," said the preacher, "I am glad to see things have really turned around for you."
"Yes, preacher, and I owe it all to you," said Harry.
"I opened my Bible, put my finger down on the page and there was the answer. . Chapter 11."
George and Harry set out in a trans-Atlantic hot air balloon race. After 37 hours in the air and appearing lost, George offers, ''We had better lose some altitude Harry so we can see exactly where we are.''
Hesitantly, Harry lets some hot air out of the balloon, and it begins to slowly descend below the cloud cover. Still confused as to their exact location George again offers, ''I still can't tell where we are Harry, let's ask that gentleman down there on the ground.''
Harry yells down to the stranger, ''Hey, Mister can you tell us where we are?''
''You're in a balloon about 100 feet up in the air,'' came the reply.
''That man must be a lawyer,'' George quipped. ''How can you tell?'' said Harry.
''Because the advice he just gave us is 100% accurate and totally useless!''
A man seeing flashing red and blue lights in his rear view mirror pulls to the side of the road. A minute or so after coming to a stop, a police officer approaches the car. The man says, "What's the problem officer?" Officer: You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ticket you. Man: No sir, I was going a little over 60. Wife: Oh, Harry. You were going at least 80! [The man gives wife dirty look.] Officer: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks! [The man gives his wife another a dirty look.] Officer: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh, Harry, you never wear your seat belt! The Man turns to his wife and yells, "For cryin' out loud, can't you just shut up?!" The more...