Hates Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What county in Ireland hates "South Park?" A: Killkenny.

Don't steal, the Government hates competition!

Everyone who hates speeding tickets, raise your right foot.

Ten Signs The Police Chief Hates You10. He sends you on drug raids....alone.9. He refers to you as "Our Little Mascot."8. The job description in your contract includes "crash test dummy" and "pepper-spray test subject."7. Instead of a gun, you were issued a water pistol.6. He always tells you that only wimps call for back-up.5. He lied to you about an "officer exchange program" and put you on a plane to Siberia.4. He doesn't like to be seen with you in public.3. He makes up "missing persons" and then sends you to look for them.2. You always get the patrol car with the flat tire, no gas, a dead battery, and a broken air conditioner.1. Your locker is also the broom closet!!

What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.

Two guys are walking down the street and one is telling the other how he hates Italians, but when they turn the corner there is an Italian organ grinder with a little monkey holding a tin cup.

The guy who hates Italians puts some coins in the monkey's cup.

When they walk away his friend says, "I thought you hated Italians, yet you gave him money?"

And he answers, "Yes, but they are so cute when they're little."