New Orleans Jokes

Five teenagers were shot to death in New Orleans early Saturday morning. Said Mayor Ray Nagin, "This senseless, black-on-black crime says to the rest of the world that The Big Easy is comin' back!"

Plan: Hope This Year's Hurricanes Blow It Into Mississippi.

Introducing a new thriller guaranteed to make you shiver and to make your frightened date squeeze your arm and private parts. : “Go Clone Yourself.”

After polishing off meals of cloned beef and ribs at Outback, a group of teenage boys and clones of themselves emerge from the mens room. The clones chase the teens into the parking lot and steal the teens’ car and their identities.

It’s the latest from the producers of such thrillers as “Day of The Dead: Iraqi Zombies” and “Winter Break at the New Orleans Sports Arena.”

A strip club in Ohio, held a "lap dances for Haiti" fundraiser. It raised some money, but nothing close to the Bunny Ranch's "Nude Oral for New Orleans."

I can’t even figure out why people remotely like travel!

It’s dumbfounding. Why would people love to travel? You have to buy luggage which doesn’t fit in your apartment. Then you have to forget something simple, yet vital, like your toothbrush-you end up buying a new one for triple the money in the foreign city. Not to mention you have to learn the word toothbrush in the destination city. It took me 20 minutes to explain what I was looking for in Montreal, and 30 minutes in Alabama.

Then it’s planes, trains, and automobiles. I don’t ever remember going on a long trip in ANY of these and thinking, “This is fun!” Especially when I was getting strip-searched by Israeli customs. Luckily, I got to sit next to a fat, orthodox man for 11 hours on that trip!!! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee, travel! By the way, the hack jokes about crying babies are all true. I DARE you to sit next to one crying baby for one hour and not think once about murder, flushing it down the plane's more...