Hearing Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day, a guy walks into a bar and he pulls a little 8 inch guy and a little piano out of his pocket and the little guy starts to play. Everyone looked at him and was just so amazed by this. One guy walks over to the other guy and asks him where he got that little man and the piano. He replies, "Well, out there, is a genie and he grants you but one wish." So, immediately after the guy heard that, he ran out to the genie. He walks back into the bar with all these ducks everywhere. The guy with the man and piano asks, "Where'd all those ducks come from?" The other says, "Well, I asked the genie for a million bucks, but he gave me a million ducks." The first guy says, "Oh, I guess I should have warned you that the genie is hard of hearing. You don't actually think I asked for a 8 inch pianist, do you?"

A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they run?" he asked the clerk.
"That depends," said the salesman. "They run from $2.00 to $2,000."
"Let's see the $2.00 model," he said.
The clerk put the device around the man's neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he instructed.
"How does it work?" the customer asked.
"For $2.00 it doesn't work," the salesman replied. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder!"

A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money.
"How much do they run?" he asked the clerk.
"That depends," said the salesman. "They run from 100 bucks to 10,000."
"Let's see the cheaspest model," he said.
The clerk put the device around the man's neck.
"You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he instructed.
"How does it work?" the customer asked. "For 100 RS it doesn't work," the salesman replied. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder!"

For many years, an elderly gentleman suffered from serious hearing problems. Finally, he went to see his doctor. After examining him, the doctor was able to have him fitted with a pair of hearing aids which allowed the gentleman to hear normally again.
A month later, the gentleman returned to the doctor for a follow-up visit. "Your hearing is perfect," the doctor said. "Your family must be very happy now that you can hear again."
"Oh, I haven't told them yet, doctor," the gentleman said. "I just sit around and listen to their conversations. So far, I've changed my will four times!"

Santa went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family including his mother-in-law. During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalem, Santa's mother-in-law died.
With the death certificate in hand, Santa went to the Indian Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to Punjab, India for a proper funeral ceremony.
The Consul, after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law told Santa that the sending of a body back to India for cremation is very, very expensive. It could cost as much as fifty thousand rupees. The Consul then advised Santa that in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to cremate the body here. This would cost very less.
Santa thinks for some time and answers, "I don't care how much it will cost to send the body back; that's what I want to do."
The Consul, after hearing this, says "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much considering the difference in more...

Kanjibhai is talking to the family doctor.
"Doc, I think my wife Rupaben going deaf."
The doctor answers, "Well, here's something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question.
If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again.
Keep repeating this until she answers.
Then you'll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is."
Kanjibhai goes home and tries it out. He walks in the door and says,
"Muna ni Ba, what's for dinner?"
He doesn't hear an answer, so he moves closer to her.
"Eh are you listening, what's for dinner?"
Still no answer.
He repeats this several times, until he's standing just a few feet away from her.
Finally, Rupaben answers,
"For the eleventh time, I said we're having THEPLA!"

A man was telling his neighbour, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."