Helicopter Jokes / Recent Jokes

Thought I'd pass along a grant proposal for important research. The following letter was received by the head meteorologist at the Miami, FL weather service office.
Dear Sir:
Last night, my 7 year-old son saw the movie Twister. He has abandoned his dreams of being a train engineer and wants to be a meteorologist. Needless to say he was determined to make an even better tornado studying machine. He wanted to empty his bank account to get a tornado sniffing dog.
I told him that the U.S. Government funded scientific research, and suggested he write for a grant. I thought you may enjoy his efforts, and I know that we would appreciate some kind of reply to his Grant Request.
Thank you for your time.
Dear Sirs:
I want to make an experiment to study tornadoes from the inside. I need a lot of money, so I am asking you for a Grant.
I will need these things:
1 helicopter
5 gallons of gas for the helicopter
5 pilots for the helicopter
1 stewardess to more...

What did the impatient helicopter say to its clumsy mechanic?"Chop chop."

Darwin Award Winner for 1997 Announced
You all know about the Darwin Awards - It's an annual honor given to
the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing
themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.
The 1995 winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which
toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out
of it.
In 1996 the winner was an air force sergeant who attached a JATO unit
to his car and crashed into a cliff several hundred feet above the
roadbed.
And now, the 1997 winner: Larry Waters of Los Angeles - one of the few
Darwin winners to survive his award-winning accomplishment. Larry's
boyhood dream was to fly. When he graduated from high school, he
joined the Air Force in hopes of becoming a pilot. Unfortunately, poor
eyesight disqualified him. When he was finally discharged, he had to
satisfy himself with watching jets fly over his backyard.
One day, Larry, more...

Here is good news and bad news.
Good news: Japan’s Air Self-Defense Forces created a lead-plate-covered chopper so that when it pours water from above the radiation-contaminated Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Station to cool the damaged reactors, SDF members would not be exposed to radioactivity.
Bad news: The chopper is too heavy to fly.