Helicopter Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Why did the blond crash her helicopter?
A: Because she was cold and decided to turn off the ceiling fan!

There once was a flood and everyone had reached safety except for one man.He climbed to the top of his house with the water lapping at his feet.A helicopter flew over his head and hung down a rope for him to climb, but the man was deeply religious and said, "It's alright! The Lord will save me!"So the helicopter flew away. The water continued to rise and a boat came to him but, once again, the man shouted, "No! Go AWAY! the Lord will come and save me!" and, once again, the boat sped off.The water was getting dangerously deep by now so the helicopter came back and, on cue, the man repeated, "I don't need saving! My Lord will come"Reluctantly, the helicopter left.The rain continued to pour, the water continued to rise and the man drowned.At the gates of heaven, the man met St. Peter. Confused, he asked, "Peter, I have lived the life of a faithful man - why did my Lord not rescue me?"St. Peter replied, "For pity sake! He sent you two more...

A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says "get in, get in!" The religous man replies, " no I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle."

Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. He responds that he has faith in god and god will give him a miracle. With the water at about chest high, another boat comes to rescue him, but he turns down the offer again cause "God will grant him a miracle."

With the water at chin high, a helicopter throws down a ladder and they tell him to get in, mumbling with the water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help for the faith of God. He arrives at the gates of heaven with broken faith and says to Peter, I thought God would grand me a miracle and I have been let down." St. Peter chuckles and responds, "I don't know what you're complaining about, we sent you three boats more...

A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way.After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.When he asked what happened, she said, "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can barely remember anything after I turned off the big fan!"

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.

"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

Q.
How did the blonde crash the helicopter?
A.
She said it was cold so she turned off the cieling fan!

A man is drowning in the sea.''Help me, Lord,'' he cries.
Just then, a fishing trawler comes by. ''Climb on board'' yells the skipper.
''No, no, no,'' says the drowning man. ''The Lord will save me.''
''OK, we will be on our way, then,'' replies the captain.
Two minutes later a rescue helicopter landed along-side the poor chap, and the pilot threw a rope into the fierce waves. ''I do not need any help,'' cries the breathless man, ''The Lord will come and rescue me.''
Moments later the guy drowns, and finds himself in heaven. On meeting God, the man weeps: ''Lord, I was waiting for you to rescue me from my watery tomb. Why did you not save me?''
God replies:'' You daft sod. I sent you a boat and a bloody helicopter!''