Herman Jokes / Recent Jokes

As a old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"

Q: What's the difference between Pee-wee Herman and O.J.?
A: It only took 12 jerks to get O.J. off.

Two prisoners are talking about their crimes:
George: “I robbed a bank, and they gave me 20 years”
Herman: “Hmm. I killed a man, and I’m here for 3 days”
George: “*WHAT*??? I rob a bank and get 20 years; you kill a man and get 3 days??? ”
Herman: “Yeah, it was a lawyer. ”

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on280. Please be careful!""Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

Hillbilly Herman was drafted, and on his first day as an enlisted man he was given a comb; the next day the army barber sheared off his hair. On the third day he was given a toothbrush; the next day the army dentist yanked several of his teeth. On the fifth day he was given a jockstrap; that afternoon Herman went AWOL.

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Herman!
Herman who?
Herman dry! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Herman!
Herman who?
Herman is handsome!

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wifes voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that theres a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate. Please be careful!" "Hell," said Herman, "Its not just one car. Its hundreds of them!"