Hero Jokes / Recent Jokes

This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to school at Ithaca College. For two years, he has wanted to ask a certain girl (who is also from Westchester and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has never had the courage. Finally, one day over the summer, he sees her at home and musters up the courage to ask her out. She accepts, and they make dinner plans for Saturday night. Friday night, this guy goes out with all of his buddies, and drinks like Prohibition is coming back. Saturday, he is in such bad shape that he can't make it through 20 minutes without either throwing up or using the bathroom.
After several hours of this, he is able to stop throwing up, but he is still running to the toilet every 20 minutes. He doesn't want to cancel the date, because he's afraid he won't ever talk to her again. So they meet in Westchester, and take the train to New York City (about a 30 minute ride). They get to the restaurant, and he excuses himself during the appetizers to use the more...

10. The Hero and Heroine fall in love without first having a fight 9. The Hero doesn't sing "mere pyaari behana" to his sister, neither does she get raped nor does she get married off to some goon who ill treats her. 8. The Hero actually asks the Heroine to elope with him instead of confronting her father and finally winning him over. 7. The Hero's bachelor friends at work do not get to come home and enjoy a meal cooked by the newly wed bride, with one of them ogling at her with evil intentions. 6. Since the Hero and Heroine get married very early in the movie, they should have known that something was going to go wrong and should have taken due care. 5. The movie is called "Bombay" but we don't get to see even one overflowing electric train. (It is like Ice station Zebra with no Zebras around) 4. Hero/Heroine do not have enough friends or relatives for a final group shot. 3. The Hero's children are ignorant about religion because the director forgets to include a more...

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he Sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl"
The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!" "Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning:' Brave American saves life of little girl'"? the policeman answers. "But I am not an American!"? says the man. "Oh, what are you then?" The man says: - "I am a Pakistani!"
The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog.

A hero of World War I was approached by a young girl and asked:' Did you kill a German?' The hero replied in the affirmative.' With which hand did you do it?' demanded the girl.'
'With this right hand.' The girl took the hand and kissed it.
An officer who was watching the proceedings exploded:' Heavens, man, why didn't you tell her that you bit him to death?'

Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However, every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. Therefore, if I ever happen to become an Evil Overlord...

1. My legions of terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of more...

why did super man dip him self in mustard and wrap him self in cheese? HE WANTED TO MAKE A HERO SANDWHICH

There are three construction workers on top of a building having lunch. One Italian, one Polak, and one Oriental.The Italian has a meatball hero, the Oriental has noodles, and the Polak has knockwurst. The Italian and the Oriental are tired of having the same lunches everyday. The Italian says that if he gets a meatball hero the next day that he will throw it off the building. The Oriental says that if he gets noodles tommorow he will also throw it off the building. The Polak says that if he gets knockwurst tommorow he will throw it off the building.Sure enough the Italian and Oriental workers open their lunch-boxes and they find that they have a meatball hero and noodles respectively. They both throw their lunches off the building. The Polak then throws his sandwich off the building.The other guys ask him how he knew that it was knockwurst again without even looking.He responded by saying, "Because I pack my own lunch."