Heroin Jokes / Recent Jokes
In a bid to resolve a sticky mess, a judge has decided that an Argentine company can continue making its own Bazooka gum even though its relationship with gum company that made the brand famous has long since soured.
After hearing the news, Bazooka CFO Joseph G. Epstein (aka "Bazooka Joe) was so unbelievably distraught he apparently comitted suicide.
Authorities claim the cause of death was an overdose of a lethal cocktail of pure heroin, "Pop Rocks" and tropical flavored "Razzles"
Bazooka Joe
Comic Icon, U.S. Senator, Eye-Patch Supermodel, Famous Nazi Hunter
1933-2006
7lb. Turkey
2 TBS. Butter
5 grams Heroin
Salt and Pepper to taste
Balloon
Rinse Turkey well and place in roasting pan breast side down. Grease Turkey with butter. Place Heroin in Balloon and shove it into Turkey cavity. Salt and Pepper. Cover and place in oven at 350 for 7 hours or until the balloon busts. Let cool for 30 minutes. Carve and Enjoy!
Dear Ann Landers,
I am a sailor in the New Zealand Navy.
My parents live in the suburb of Seatoun and one of my sisters, who lives in Palmerston North, is married to an Australian.
My Father and Mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana, distribution of Cocaine, as well as Heroin.
They are currently dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes in Auckland.
I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non parole life sentence in Mt. Eden Prison, Auckland, for the rape & murder of a teenage boy in 1994, the other currently being
held in the Wellington remand center on charges of incest with his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Christchurch and indeed is still a
part time "working girl" in a Brothel, however, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD.
We intend more...
The DEA has issued a warning that criminals are currently manufacturing knives that shoot bullets. A brilliant notion, really. Disguising weapons as... OTHER weapons.
The criminals are next developing a plan to disguise heroin as crack-cocaine. Genius.
...Frank Keys Jr. faces up to 40 yrs in prison after he was found with 200 grams of heroin in the disposable diaper he was wearing...when the arresting officer asked Keys where he got the heroin, the man replied, "Depends."