Hill Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two blondes were skiing at Aspen, when they got into a debate about the best way to ski down a particular hill. “The best way is down the left side of the course, where it’s nearly all powder, ” said the first blonde. “No, the best way is straight down the middle, where the snow is packed tight, ” argued the other. “Look, ” said the first blonde. “Let’s get another opinion. There’s a guy dragging a sled up the hill. Let’s go ask him. ” The second blonde agreed, and in a few minutes the two of them caught up with the guy. “Excuse me, ” said the first blonde. “I say the best way to ski down this hill is to take the left side of the course, where it’s nearly all powder, but my friend thinks the best way is straight down the middle, where the snow is packed tight. Can you tell us who’s right? ” “Sorry, ladies, ” said the man, “but there’s no use in asking me. I’m a tobogganist. ” “Oh, ” said the second blonde. “Well, in that case, can more...

A long time ago when America was being settled, a group of people headed west in a wagon train from the east coast. The wagon train leader was very inexperienced and soon the people realized they were hopelessly lost. After wandering for weeks and weeks, their food supplies were gone and winter was fast approaching.
As the group came over a hill they saw the first person they had seen for days; a strange old man sitting beneath a tree. The leader of the wagon train approached the man. "Can you help us? We're heading west but we're lost and all our food is gone. We're starving."
The old man replied, "You know, I can see the future... Wait... I'm getting a vision now." He held one hand to his brow and closed his eyes in concentration. "It's coming. Oh yes, I see, I see."
"I know what you must do. Go up this hill and down the other side. Go through the forest and across the stream. Then go up the next hill and down to the valley below. There more...

One day a little boy walks into his class. He is 5 minutes late. His teacher says,
"Timmy, where have you been?" He replies, "On Blueberry Hill", and goes to his seat. The next day he comes to class 10 minutes late. His teacher says, "Timmy, where have you been?" He says, "on Blueberry Hill", and goes to his seat. The next day a new girl walked into Timmy's class. The teacher says, "Can you please tell everybody your name?" The little girl says, "Blueberry Hill".

Old Indian Trick
A Cowboy riding down the trail encounters an Indian laying on the trail with hard on. The Cowboy
asks "what are you doing?" Indian says" Me tellum time." Cowboy shakes his head, rides on,
encounters another exactly the same. Says "You telling time?" yup" "how can you tell time like that?"
Indian says "workum like sundial, readum shadow". Cowboy, incredulous, rides on. Encounters
Indian in trail masturbating. Cowboy says "let me guess, you're telling time too." Indian says " Nope.
But me windum clock!"
Indian Visits Whore House
An indian walks into a whore house and throws a bag of money on the counter and says, "me
want pussy."
The woman working the counter decides that she wants to have a little fun with him, and tells him
that he must first fuck the big oak tree on the hill.
The indian replies, "me no want tree, me more...

There were two Indians and a Polish fellow walking along together in the desert, when, all of a sudden, one of the Indians took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave. He stopped and hollered into the cave... "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" and then listened very closely until he heard the answer..."Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" He then tore off his clothes and ran in to the cave. The Polish fellow was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about, was that Indian goofy or something. "No", said the other Indian. "It is mating time for us Indians and when you see a cave and holler, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!", and get an answer back, that means that she is in there waiting for you. Well, just about that time, the other Indian saw another cave. He took off and ran up to the cave, then stopped and hollered, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" When he heard the return, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!", off came the more...

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, unzipped his fly, and Jill said "I don't wanna"Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

Snowboarding Lessons When you're 47 years old, you sometimes hear a small voice inside you that says: "Just because you've reached middle age, that doesn't mean you shouldn't take on new challenges and seek new adventures. You get only one ride on this crazy carousel we call life, and by golly you should make the most of it." This is the voice of Satan. I know this because recently, on a mountain in Idaho, I listened to this voice, and as a result my body feels as though it has been used as a trampoline by the Budweiser Clydesdales. I am currently on an all-painkiller diet. "I'll have a black coffee and 250 Advil tablets" is a typical breakfast order for me these days. This is because I went snowboarding. For those of you who, for whatever reason, such as a will to live, do not participate in downhill winter sports, I should explain that snowboarding is an activity that is popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough. These are of course more...