Homeless Jokes / Recent Jokes

Las Vegas has made it a crime to give food to a homeless person. "They will only spend the calories on energy," explained the mayor.

And Joseph went up from Galilee to Bethlehem with Mary, his espoused wife, who was great with child. And she brought forth a son and wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger because there was no room for them in the inn. And the angel of the Lord spoke to the shepherds and said, "I bring you tidings of great joy. Unto you is born a Savior, which is Christ the Lord."
"There's a problem with the angel," said a Pharisee who happened to be strolling by. As he explained to Joseph, angels are widely regarded as religious symbols, and the stable was on public property where such symbols were not allowed to land or even hover.
"And I have to tell you, this whole thing looks to me very much like a Nativity scene," he said sadly. "That's a no-no, too." Joseph had a bright idea. "What if I put a couple of reindeer over there near the ox and ass?" he said, eager to avoid sectarian more...

A young man who was homeless and alone asked a young woman if he could stay with her for a while.
"Yes, but I have one rule you must follow," she said. "What is it?" asked the man.
"In the room where you are staying, my pants are hanging on a line. Do not pull them down," she said. "Agreed," he replied.
But, the young man woke up in the morning and, without realizing it, pulled the pants down.
"I'm calling the police!" the woman yelled. "No, please, give me one more chance," begged the man.
"Okay, but I have a rule you must follow," she said. "I would like you to sleep in the barn and there is a donkey in there. Do not slap him." "Agreed," the man replied.
But, the man woke up with a stir in the middle of the night and slapped the donkey.
"I'm calling the police!" the woman screamed. "Give me one more chance, please," the man more...

Q: Why should we feel bad for the gay homeless population? A: None of them have closets to come out of.

Whats the best bit about dating homeless chicks?
You can drop them off anywhere.

And Joseph went up from Galilee to Bethlehem with Mary, his espoused wife, who was great with child. And she brought forth a son and wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger because there was no room for them in the inn. And the angel of the Lord spoke to the shepherds and said, "I bring you tidings of great joy. Unto you is born a Savior, which is Christ the Lord."
"There's a problem with the angel," said a Pharisee who happened to be strolling by. As he explained to Joseph, angels are widely regarded as religious symbols, and the stable was on public property where such symbols were not allowed to land or even hover.
"And I have to tell you, this whole thing looks to me very much like a Nativity scene," he said sadly.
"That's a no-no, too." Joseph had a bright idea.
"What if I put a couple of reindeer over there near the ox and ass?" he said, eager to avoid sectarian strife.
"That would more...

And Joseph went up from Galilee to Bethlehem with Mary, his espoused wife, who was great with child. And she brought forth a Son and wrapped Him in swaddling clothes and laid Him in a manger because there was no room for them in the inn. And the angel of the Lord spoke to the shepherds and said; "I bring you tidings of great joy. Unto you is born a Savior, which is Christ the Lord."
"There's a problem with the angel," said a Pharisee, who happened to be strolling by. As he explained to Joseph, angels are widely regarded as religious symbols, and the stable was on public property, where such symbols were not allowed to land, or even hover.
"And I have to tell you, this whole thing looks to me very much like a Nativity scene," he said sadly. "That's a no-no, too."
Joseph had a bright idea "What if I put a couple of reindeer over there near the ox and the ass?" he said, eager to avoid sectarian strife.
"That would more...