Homework Jokes / Recent Jokes

Johnny, where's your homework? Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?" "It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny. "I had to force him, but he ate it!"

“Dad, ” said Little Johnny, “I’m late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me? ” Little Johnny’s father said irately, “Son, it just wouldn’t be right. ” “That’s okay, ” replied Little Johnny “At least you could try. ”

One day, when Billy came home from school, his mom asked him how his day went. He said, "We're learning about sexual education." She smiled, and said, "At least he's learning something usefull." Billy went up to his room. A little later, Billy's mom went up to his room to call him down to dinner. She opens his door and sees him jerking off. She says, "Billy, when you're done with your homework, supper's on the table."

An ideal homework excuseTeacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I loaned it to a friend, but he suddenly moved away

Teacher: Where's your homework this morning?

Student: You'll never believe this, but on the way to school I made a paper airplane out of it and someone hijacked it to Cuba!

An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I put it in a safe, but lost the combination!

Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard:


"One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two."
"Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four."
"Three and three... "


His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him.


His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework. The next day she stormed into Little Johnny`s classroom and confronted Ms. Margo. Little Johnny`s mother told Ms. Margo about Little Johnny`s different way of doing math, and his claims that Ms. Margo taught it that way to the class.


The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn`t understand why Little Johnny had said what he did. Then suddenly, Ms Margo exclaimed, "Oh, I know, here in school we say, one and one, the sum-of-which is two."