Homework Jokes / Recent Jokes
You know you have been on the computer too long when...
When you are counting objects, you go "0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, A, B, C, D...".
When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.
When your wife says "If you don't turn off that darn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause.
When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page.
When you look for your car keys using: "grep keys /dev/pockets"
When you look for your homework using: "grep homework /dev/backpack"
When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.
When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want.
When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you more...
A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked. "What`s the problem Carol? I hope it`s not homework again."
"Well, uh, yes, it is," replied Carol "I was stupid and made my homework paper into a paper airplane."
"Carol, you`re right, that wasn`t a very bright thing to do," said the teacher, "but his once I`ll let your just unfold the paper and hand it in."
"Oh, but that won`t work," said Carol, looking even sadder. "You see, the plane was hijacked
"Johnny, where's your homework?" Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?" "It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny. "I had to force him, but he ate it!"
An ideal homework excuseTeacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I put it in a safe, but lost the combination!
Little Johnny Clever was in Mrs. Gleason's 3rd grade class for just a couple of weeks when he ran home to his mom and showed her a little 3x3 piece of paper. It had the word "Homework" crossed out in a circle with a slash (the very same you see with no smoking signs)
"What is this?" The mother said inquiringly.
"Its a no homework pass mommy! I raised my hand the most in class. All you have to do is sign it and I dont have to do any homework for tonight!" says Johnny excitedly!
'Well thats a good thing to keep kids interested in the subject and class participation. I bet this teacher's been teaching for quite a while!' thought his mother as she signed the slip for him.
So the next day Johnny comes home again just as excited. He won another no homework pass. His mother was starting to be very proud. This happened every day for the whole nine weeks.
On report card day, Johnny came home with a D and she started to wonder if maybe he more...
An ideal homework excuseTeacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine
What did the maths homework website say to the geometry website? Boy do we have problems.