Homework Jokes / Recent Jokes
A boy walks up to his teacher and says "Teacher would you tell me off for something i have not done?"
"No of course not"the teacher replies.
"Good, because I have not done my homework!"
These are phrases found on funny T-shirts:
*(camoflauge) Ha! Now you can't see me!
* He did it ->
*The leprechauns are after my stash.
*I do what the voices tell me to do...
*Not the brightest crayon in the box, are we?
*See no homework, Speak no homework, Hear no homework, DO NO HOMEWORK.
*I bet you were an ugly baby.
*(Picture of Simpsons on it) I see dumb people...
*I didn't do it.
*(Scribbles all over it) Don't drink and draw.
*(Picture of skunk) Silent but deadly...
*He farted ->
*(Picture of gas station) I have gas!
*(Squirrels) Protect your nuts.
*I'm out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?
*Help! I talk too much!
*(Upside down) If you can read this, please send me back to the bar...
*The closest I got to an 86% average in college was my alcohol blood level.
*My parents think I'm in school
*My girlfriend thinks I'm out of town
*FOR SALE
*(Big smilie) I'm no longer a danger to society!
A teacher is reviewing her class' homework assignment. She asks Susie to stand up and tell the class what part of the human body enlarges to seven times its original size when stimulated. Susie stands up, shuffles her feet and says, "Well, I think I know, but I'm too embarrassed to tell you."
The teacher says, "Sit down, Susie. Johnny, tell the class what part of the human body enlarges to seven times its size when stimulated."
Johnny says, "That's easy. The pupil of the eye enlarges to seven times its original size when stimulated by light."
The teacher says, "That's right, Johnny." Then she turns to Susie and says, "Susie, first of all, you didn't do your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, when you get married, you're in for a big disappointment."
What kind of food do maths teachers eat?
Square meals!
The food in our school canteen is perfect.
If your a bug!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Our puppy toilet trained on it
A history joke
How did Columbus’s men sleep on their ships?
With their eyes shut!
How did the boy feel after being caned?
Absolutely whacked!
Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.
So what’s so great about that?
It’s snowing outside!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had
What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Where did all the cuts and blood come from?
The school went on a trip!
What’s the worst thing you’re likely to find in the school cafeteria?
The food!
Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?
Pupil: Because it can’t sit down!
A history joke
What was Camelot?
A place where people parked their camels!
A history joke
Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia?
Must have been a duck family
A duck family?
Didn’t you say there was a quack in it!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school
A math joke
Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Pupil: That’s not fair!
One time, when I was a kid, I forgot to do my homework, so I stole someone else's and turned it in. After class, the teacher pulled me over. She asked why I didn't turn in the homework. I said, guess I forgot to change the name on it!