Honk Jokes / Recent Jokes
Love Jesus by Dennis DiPasquale The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed. I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love the lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST, GO!!!" Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a funny way more...
TOP BUMPER STICKER'S SEEN AROUND THE WORLD1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit. 2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself. 3. If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People. 4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon? 5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut. 6. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point. 7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better. 8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant. 9. Thank You For Pot Smoking. 10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing. 11. If At First You Don't Succeed... blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling. 12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings". 13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer. 14. Horn Broken... Watch For Finger. 15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger. 16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass. 17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home19. I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha20. more...
Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.
Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
Thank You For Pot Smoking.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
The Earth Is Full - Go Home
I Have The Body Of A God....Buddha
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
Illiterate? Write For Help
Honk If Anything Falls Off
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's more...
1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.
2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
3. If You Drink, Don't Park - Accidents Cause People.
4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
6. Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.
7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.
10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
11. If At First You Don't Succeed. .. Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
14. Horn Broken. . Watch For Finger.
15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My more...
A salesman asked Bubba where his friend Junior lived. Bubba gave him directions but cautioned him not to honk his horn.
"Why not? asked the salesman curiously.
"Well, you see, Junior's wife ran off with a banjo player about three months ago and every time Junior hears somebody honk, he's afraid the banjo player is bringing her back."