Idea Jokes / Recent Jokes

New Corporate Buzz Words for the 90`s

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn`t work out obsessively.
Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, and then leaves.
Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.
Idea Hamsters: People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
Mouse Potato: The online, wired generation`s answer to the couch potato.
Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people`s heads pop up over the walls to see what`s going on.
SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for more...

Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof, laying tile, when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their ladder. "I have an idea," said Mike. "Well throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder." "What, do you think Im stupid? I have an idea. Ill shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the beam of light." "What, do you think Im stupid? Youll just turn off the flashlight when Im halfway there."

Q: What is the title of the thinnest book in the world?
A: "What men know about women"
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: "One... a man will screw anything"
Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
A: "He eats beans for dinner"
Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
A: "Because they don't have balls to scratch"
Q: What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A: "30 minutes of begging"
Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
A: "If he's breathing"
Q: What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A: "Bonds mature"
Q: What do men and beer bottles have in common?
A: "They are both empty from the neck up"
Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?
A: "Who cares"
Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: "We don't know... It's never been done"
Q: How are more...

A guy named Jack was having an affair with a married woman. He was at her house one night while her husband was away on business and they were really into making love when they heard the front door open.
"Oh no! It's my husband!" the woman said." He'll kill you. Quick I've got an idea."
The woman took him into the bathroom and rubbed baby oil all over him and then proceeded to pat him all over with white powder. She took him back into the bedroom shoved him into the corner and told him to stand as still as he could, like a statue.
Just in time she turned around to great her husband. He smiled and gave her a big hug. "Hi honey I've missed you while I've been away."
"Yes," she replied " I though you would be back days ago."
Just then the husband noticed Jack. "What is that?"
The woman quickly said "It's a new age statue. The Jones in 3A have one just like it and I thought it would be a good more...

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

Two Frenchmen came to New York for a vacation. The first thing they did leaving the hotel was to buy an American-French dictionary. Without a guide, they decided to learn English word by word in the simplest way they could think of - continuously browsing through the dictionary, picking at random a certain word and look up its definition.
So they went into a coffee shop and started off right away. The first word they came upon happened to be "Ouch" which was defined as "an interjection used to express a mixed feeling of surprise, sudden pain and anger." It was then that they suddenly realized they did not have the slightest idea what those cryptic pronunciation symbols might sound like. Thinking hard, one of the Frenchmen finally came up with a bright idea:
"Well, don't worry, mon ami. I suppose the best way for us to learn how to pronounce that word is to get a native say it out loud!"
"But how? I'm afraid nobody in this busy town is more...

Your idea of talking during sex is "Ain't no cars coming, baby!"