Illinois Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Chicago Cubs signed Rudy Jaramillo to be their new hitting coach. Jaramillo took the job because he likes a challenge, and felt world peace was just too easy.
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address, he did his best to type it in from memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
DEAREST WIFE: JUST GOT CHECKED IN. EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.
P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE.
What are the odds of this attacker choosing to victimize the one cab driver in the country who uses deodorant?
A Chicago couple has named their new baby girl Addison N. Clark in tribute to the streets around Wrigley Field. Which is a much better name than "Wait Til Next Year."
An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
"My life has totally spiralled out of control," admitted Gov. Blagojevich.
A Massachusetts funeral home recently took delivery of the first Red Sox casket, which features the team logo on the exterior as well as the inside. The casket is manufactured by Eternal Image of Michigan, which has a licensing agreement with Major League Baseball. The company said that business has been brisk and the caskets are selling well, with the exception of the Chicago Cubs. When asked why, Fred Jones a Chicago resident and long time Cubs supporter said, “Our hopes and dreams for a World Series Champion have already been buried.”