Income Jokes / Recent Jokes

A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um...no." "-or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted, "-or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?" The humiliated more...

Some key definitions to help decode Clinton`s speeches. More will be added as the President`s meaning becomes clear. Remember, do not attach meaning to words, it`s symbolism that is important.

All - Clinton`s constituency. as: We ALL must make sacrifices to restore America`s economic health.

Ask - Clintoneze for legislate. i. e. asking: legislating.

Campaign promise - actually, this is a misspelling. It really is champagne promise.

Change - (verb) redefinition of the term "tax cut" to its true meaning, "contribution". (noun) That portion of your income that will now be heading to Washington, As: The change we are asking for is necessary if we are to restore America`s (and, uh, Washington`s) economy to number one in the world.

Contribution - that portion of your "excess" income that Washington believes it can make better use of than you. This `90s term is designed to make you feel good while Uncle Sam more...

A local United Way office realized that it had neverreceived a donation from the towns most successful lawyer. The personin charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute."Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500, 000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldnt you like to give back to thecommunity in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment andreplied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dyingafter a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times herannual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um... no.""-or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to awheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out anapology but was interrupted, "-or that my sisters husband died in atraffic accident," the lawyers voice rising in indignation, "leavingher penniless with three children?" The humiliated United Way rep, more...

Corruption has become an integral part of our life. A gentleman, after giving matrimonial advertisement for the proposed marriage of his daughter, went on to visit four applicants for better match-making. The first one he visited was a young lad working as a clerk in the Customs department. His parents told the visiting guest that their boy drew a salary of Rs. 1600 per month and an additional income of Rs. 2000 from' above'. The other boy visited was a clerk working in Excise and Taxation department. The boy got Rs. 1650 as salary and Rs. 2500 per month from' above'.
A similar explanation came from a boy's parents who was working as a clerk in B & R department: "Rs. 1600 as salary and Rs. 2000 from' above'." Last came the turn of an Army sepoy. "The boy is in the Army and gets Rs. 1500 as salary per month plus ration and leave travel free," was the reply of his parents. "What about the income from "above"?" the visiting guest asked. more...

Teacher: Rahul, Make A Sentence With Income.
Rahul: I Open The Door And Income The Dog.
Teacher: No, No, That's Not The Way, Try Ransom.
Rahul: When I Saw The Skunk, I Ransom Distance To Get Away.
Teacher: You Are Worse Than I Thought, Try……Gruesome.
Rahul: I Was Not So Tall Last Year, But Since Then I Gruesome.
Teacher: No, Rahul, This Is Your Last Chance. Try Handsome.
Rahul: Handsome Gum To Me?