Income Jokes / Recent Jokes

A couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on Psalms 51: 2-4 (knowing my own hidden secrets) and Psalm 52: 3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the following letter to the IRS:

"I have been unable to sleep, knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income, and have enclosed a check for $150.
If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest."

A couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on Psalms 51:2-4 (knowing my own hidden secrets) and Psalms 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the following letter to the IRS:

I have been unable to sleep, knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income, and have enclosed a check for $150.00.

If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest.

I don't know the original source; suffice it to say that I saw it
on a photo-copied piece of paper.
I have updated it to fit current North-American political and taxation
trends...
Combined Canada / U.S Income Tax Calculation and Remittance Form
(Simplified) Form #1990-1a
North-American Free Trade Agreement Tax Treaty Tax Year 1990
How much money did you make? $_______.___
Send it in! $_______.___

The following came through a long sequence of forwardings, but managed to
retain an attribution:
Kathy Dysert
[email protected]
Here's something that came to my husband with some other information.
AND HERE IS SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT:
Jordan will make over $300,000 a game, $10,000 a minute assuming he
averages about 30 minutes a game.
Assuming $40 mil in endorsements next year, he'll be making $178,100 a day
(working or not)!
Assuming he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while
visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
If he goes to see Independence Day, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make
$18,550 while he's there.
If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.
He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage (after the wage hike)
He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Seinfeld.
If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a
whole 12 more...

In California (especially Silicon Valley), we don't gripe about the
weather-we gripe about the high cost of housing. For those of you
just starting out (or for those of you who have already been there),
allow me to offer you:
The Complete Guide to Apartment Ad Deciphering
***
What They Say What It Means
spacious hole in the wall
to anyone living in their car
that's why we're charging $200 above the
going rate
easy access to transportation Particularly in Mountain View and
Sunnyvale, this can mean:
A. in the flight path of Moffet Field
(b) next to the railroad tracks
(c) next to a major road/freeway/highway
(d) a&b, b&c, c&a above
(e) all of the above
friendly staff Doberman pincher mentality
free utilities That's the only way we can entice people
in this dump.
Would you pay this high rent AND the
water and garbage?
heated pool only when the sun's out
only when there's water in more...

I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why dont you pay with a smile? Id like to but they insist on money

A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called the lawyer up.
“Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $400, 000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way? ”
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income? ”
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, “Um…no. ”
“–or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair? ”
The stricken United Way rep began to stuttered an apology but was interrupted,
“–or that my sister’s husband died in a traffic accident, ” the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her broke with three children?! ”
The humiliated United Way more...