Indian Jokes / Recent Jokes

A shopkeeper's son had trouble with his eyes. He took the boy to an eye-specialist who operated upon and replaced the boy's eyes with those donated by a Minister.
A few days after the operation, the doctor asked the father, "How's your son doing?"
"He is fine," replied the father, "but he keeps on gazing at a chair whenever he finds one."

Czermaine Greer, leader of the feminist movement, called on the law-giver Manu and chastised him for his discriminatory laws against women, "Can you give me one good reason for prescribing that women should walk ten paces behind men?" she demaned.
"Dearest kanya!" replied the sage "at first, women used to walk ahead of their men. Then incidents of bottom pinching became so rampant that I had to make new rules. I prescribed ten paces distance between the two to make women's posteriors beyond the reach of men. I did so not to discriminate against women but to protect them."
Ms. Greer, who had been in Italy before she came to see Manu, complimented Manu for his sagacity.

Fed up of people making fun of him, Santa decided to change his religion. He joined a priest in a church as his assistant. One day the priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called Santa D'costa (his new assistant) and asked him to cover for him. Santa told him he would't know what to say, but the priest told him to stay with him for a little while and learn what to do.
Santa joined the priest and then followed him into the confessional. A few minutes later a woman came in and said,' Father forgive me for I have sinned.'
Priest:' What did you do?'
Woman:' I committed adultery.'
Priest:' How many times?'
Woman:' Three times.'
Priest:' Say two Hail Marys, put $5. 00 in the charity box, and sin no more.'
A few minutes later a man entered the confessional. He said,' Father forgive me for I have sinned.'
Priest:' What did you do?'
Man:' I committed adultery.'
Priest:' How many more...

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, “Me want coffee. ” The waiter says, “Sure chief, coming right up. ” He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out. The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, “Me want coffee. ” The waiter says, “Whoa, Tonto! We’re still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What the heck was all that about, anyway? ” Indian smiles and proudly says, “Me training for upper management position: Come in, drink coffee, shoot sh*t, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.?

A person of New Delhi writes that there had been a succession of death of male relatives and he had to give money to their widows as customary. When he was telling his wife how much out of pocket he was, she assauged his feelings by saying "Don't worry, it will all come back to me when I become a widow."

Economist:' India's economy is looking up.'

Common man:' Yes, towards the heavens! Only God can save it now.'

Absorbed in his own little world, once Ujaagar fell into a pit and couldn't get himself out. A Subjective person came along and said:
'I feel for you down there.'

An Objective person came along and said.
'It's logical that someone would be down there.'

A Journalist came along and said:
'I want the exclusive story on the man's pit.'

Confucious said:
'If you had listened to me, you wouldn't be in
that pit.'

Buddha said:
'Your pit is only a state of mind.'

A Realist said:
'That's a pit.' A Scientist:
Calculated the pressure necessary to get him out
of the pit.

A Geologist said:
'Observe the rock strata in the pit.'

A Taxman asked:
'Are you paying taxes for the pit?'

A Municipal Inspector asked:
'Do you have a permit to dig a pit?' An Evasive person came along: And avoided the subject of the pit altogether.

A Self-pitying person more...