Indian Jokes / Recent Jokes

A just-married Chinese couple decided to make love on the wedding night in the hotel where they held their wedding. The wife did not want to get pregnant and requested the husband to buy condom from the shop nearby. When the husband left, the wife waited anxiously in the room with all the lights switched off. The husband had a hard time looking for a shop that sell condom and when he finally found one, he realized that he had only one 20 cents coin. He asked the shop owner to sell him one piece of condom and the shop owner asked him which quality does he want. "The white condom, lowest quality, is 15 cents each. The black condom, average quality, is 20 cents each. And the purple condom, highest quality, is 25 cents each." So the husband took the black condom as he had only 20 cents with him. While the husband was out, a black Indian thief came into the room. The wife did not notice and thought that it was her husband. She grabs the thief and happily screwing away. The wife more...

Once upon a time there was a nonconforming swallow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, when the weather turned very cold, he reluctantly started to fly southwards. In a short time ice began to form on its wings and it fell to earth in a barnyard frozen still.
A cow passed by and crapped on the little swallow. The swallow thought it was the end. But the dung warmed it and defrosted its wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, it started to chirp. Just then a large torn cat came by and hearing the chirping, found out where it was coming from, clawed away the dung and swallowed the swallow.
Moral: Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy; everyone who gets you out of the shit is not necessarily your friend; and if you're warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut.

Two asses met in a market; one ass asked the other,' Why have you become so weak and sullen, doesn't your owner treat you well?'
The other ass replied,' No, my owner makes me work throughout the day and does not give me any food. He is very cruel.'
The first ass said,' Why don't you leave his house and run away?'
The other ass replied:' No, I shall not leave his house even if he tortures me, because my owner's daughter is very pretty. Whenever she does any mischief, my owner always abuses her saying that, "One day I will get you married to this donkey." I am waiting for that day to come.'

God is one, gods are many. All are great, pick up any. Believe me when I mention. Every god has a different complexion. Some are red, some are blue. Some have a saffron hue.

Each devotee has a yearning. Be it wealth, be it learning. Seers know the hidden thing. Let Joshi his Vandana Singh!

an east indian was going in to a plane with is own food with him. a guy said what his this he said a punjabi container then it was lunch time so he was eating the guy asked what his this he said punjabi bread than he said wat is this he said punjabi daal then the guy asked again what is this he said it is punjabi yogurt then after awhile the east indian fated and the guy said wat is this the east indian said this is Air India

Banta had just moved to Bangalore. He had trouble speaking to the local people and decided to learn Kannada.
He went to a bookstore and picked up two copies of Learn Kannada in Thirty Days. The shopkeeper asked,' Is one of them for your friend?'
'Oh, no, no, I want to learn Kannada in fifteen days itself.'

An esteemed professor of Mumbai University who had stayed with a family and wanted to thank his hostess for her hospitality said: Thank you very much for all your hostility.'
The same professor, giving a farewell talk to a batch of students going abroad, advised them:' Do in Rome as Romeos do.'
From Mumbai again comes this malapropism. A gentleman wiping the perspiration off his brow remarked:' In Mumbai it is prostitution and more prostitution'.