Indian Jokes / Recent Jokes
An esteemed professor of Mumbai University who had stayed with a family and wanted to thank his hostess for her hospitality said: Thank you very much for all your hostility.'
The same professor, giving a farewell talk to a batch of students going abroad, advised them:' Do in Rome as Romeos do.'
From Mumbai again comes this malapropism. A gentleman wiping the perspiration off his brow remarked:' In Mumbai it is prostitution and more prostitution'.
Mr. and Mrs. Banta Singh's two-year-old boy was bawling away loudly. Mrs. Singh asked her husband why their son was being so difficult. "He wants to take a ride on a donkey," replied Banta.
"Then why don't you put him on your shoulders and go for a run?"
After passing the F. Sc. examination from the Punjab University in the early forties, my friend, Nirmal Singh, settled down in Delhi. Twenty years later, when I visited his house, I was astonished to find the following particulars displayed on his nameplate:
Nirmal Singh, FSC (F. Sc.)
Balwant Kaur, MSC (M. Sc.)
I asked Nirmal Singh if he did not feel embarrassed by proclaiming the comparatively higher qualification of his wife.
'Not at all,' replied my friend.' Why should I fight shy of admitting what is factually correct? I am father of seven children (FSC) and my wife is mother of seven children (MSC).'
Santa and Banta were having difficulty in trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
In an extremely frustrated tone Banta said,' I can't seem to get this door unlocked.'
'Well, you would better hurry up and try a little harder. It has started raining and the top of the car is down!' replied Santa.
When tenders were floated for the channel tunnel to connect England and France, many international building companies vied with one another to get the contract. The stakes were very high; the job of digging beneath the sea required great engineering skill and building expertise. Tenders were opened by the Board of Directors of the Anglo-French Corporation which had taken on the project. British builders' estimates were over 200 million dollars each; French and German builders were marginally lower. There was one from India: Singh & Singh Builders whose estimate was only 5 million dollars. The Board was for ignoring the Indian tender but out of curiosity invited Singh & Singh over to discuss the plans.
Banta Singh and Santa Singh of Singh & Singh Builders appeared before the Board. The Chairman asked them "Have you any experience of undertaking this kind of work?"
"Indeed we have," replied the two Singhs, "we bored a lot of tubewells in the Punjab and more...
A desan' s daughter took admission in a college and was to live in a co-ed dormitory. The desan was very worried and warned her daughter that she would die if she ever found out that her daughter had male visitors in her room.
One Friday night, the desan kept on calling her daughter's dormitory. She was not there. The desan got worried. Finally at 1 o'clock she got hold of her daughter and asked angrily,' Where were you?'
'Mom, I was visiting a boy's room, so that his mother dies and not you.'
An Indian runner was stripped of her medal at the Asian games for failing a gender test. The obvious fallout is even more questioning of Floyd Landis’ “elevated testosterone” defense.