Indian Jokes / Recent Jokes

A sales agent of a firm of tobacco manufacturers was haranguing a crowd of villagers on the benefits of imbibing the weed, which assured longevity.' Those who smoke never grow old,' he proclaimed.
An octogenarian in the audience spoke up in support of the tobacco vendor:' Brothers, he is quite right!' When a young man takes to smoking, he dies by the time he attains middle age. That saves him from old age.'

Raju inserted the following advertisement in the newspaper:
The most wonderful discovery of the 20th century! How to write without pen and ink. Send only a rupee for particulars.
Thousands parted with a rupee and wrote to Raju. By return of post, he sent a postcard to all of them saying,' Use a pencil.'

Q: What did the Indian say when he'd bagged a doe without eyes?
A: I have no eye deer.

A famous reporter was doing a documentary on the customs of the
American Indians. After a tour of a reservation that they were on,
she asked what was the significance and major differences in the
number of feathers on the head dresses that they were wearing.
She asked a young Indian who only had one feather on his head
dress. His reply was, "ME ONLY HAVE ONE WIFE, ME HAVE ONLY ONE
FEATHER."
She asked another young man, feeling that the first guy was only
joking. This young Indian had four feathers on his head dress. He
replied,"OGH! ME HAVE FOUR FEATHERS BECAUSE ME SLEEPS WITH FOUR
WIVES."
Still not convinced about the number of feathers actually indicated
the number of wives involved, she decided to interview the Chief. Now
the Chief had a head dress full of feathers, which needless to say,
amused the reporter. She asked the Chief, "Why do you have so many
feathers on your head more...

This exchange took place many years ago between the then Finance Minister of India John Mathai, and Acharya Kriplani.
The Acharya was renowned for his acid tongue. He was going for the civil service and injected a particularly waspish anecdote about a young man who having knocked at many doors to find a job, returned crestfallen to his father. The father reassured him:' I know you are a no-good son of a gun. No one in his senses will employ you. But don't lose hope, you can always get a government job; they are meant for worthless people like you.'
John Mathai was quick to reply:' Having heard the Acharya's observation with great respect, I am coming to the conclusion that Acharyaji is fast becoming ripe for a, wernment job.'

conversation (at tea break) turned to whether women dress to please men or to please other women. Most guests agreed that women dress to please men, but Banta had the last word, when he said,' They don't have to dress to please me.'

Mr. and Mrs. Banta Singh went to the Election Commissioner's office. Banta asked the Election Commissioner, "Sir, I want to know whether our name is in the voter's list." The officer checked the list and said, "Sardarji, the list shows you as dead." Banta Singh said, "Sir, I'm standing before you, how can I be dead?" At this Mrs. Banta Singh shouted at her husband, "Shut up. He is an Election Officer, he can't tell a lie."