Invention Jokes / Recent Jokes
The founder of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "You've been a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world.
Your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented,
"So you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycles, eh?"
Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me..." God commented, "Well, what's the big deal about inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution, and can't run without a road!?!"
Arthur was embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me but aren't you the inventor of woman???"
God said, "Ah, yes."
"Well," said Arthur, "Professional to more...
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Science is making so many strides ahead, almost daily, that it gets increasingly difficult for the layman to keep up. Latest invention we've heard about is a toothpaste with built-in food particles, for people who can't eat between every brushing.
When Switching On His Room Bulb The Santa Said "The Invention Of Electricity Was A Good Work By Benjamin" The Banta Asked'Of Course But Why Are You Asking It Now?" He Answered'Other Wise The Invention Of Bulbs And Tubelights Would Have Gone Useless" "!!!!!!!!!!"
One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certfiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.
The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my more...
Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angeltells Ford, "Well, you've been such a good guy and your invention, the assembly line for the automobile, changed the world. As areward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven." Ford thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang out with God, himself." The befeathered fellow at the gate takes Ford to theThrone Room and introduces him to God. Ford then asks God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of Woman?" God says, "Ah, yes." "Well,"says Ford, You have some major design flaws in your invention: l. There's too much front end protrusion2. It chatters at high speeds3. The rear end wobbles too much, and4. The intake is placed to close to the exhaust." "Hmmm.." replies God, "hold on." God goes to the CelestialSupercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the result. The computer prints out a slip of paper and God reads it. "It maybe that my more...
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. –Ernest Hemmingway He was a wise man who invented beer. – Plato Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time. –Catherine Zandonella If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. –David Daye When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. –Henny Youngman Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. –Benjamin Franklin Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. –Dave Barry The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. –Humphrey Bogart People who drink light “beer” don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot. –Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would more...