Iron Jokes / Recent Jokes

Off the seventh tee, Joe sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine. He took his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball.
After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something glistening in the leaves. As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an eight iron in hands of a skeleton! Joe immediately called out to his friend, "Jack, I've got trouble down here!"
"What's the matter?" Jack asked from the edge of the ravine.
"Bring me my wedge," Joe shouted. "You can't get out of here with an eight iron!"

A blonde with two burnt ears went to the doctor, who asked what had happened.
"The phone rang, and I accidentally picked up the iron."
"What about the other one?"
"They called back."

A blonde with two burnt ears went to the doctor, who asked what had happened."The phone rang, and I accidentally picked up the iron.""What about the other one?""They called back."

*** ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESERT - Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)*** ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING - Product will be hot after heating*** ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON - Do not iron clothes on body*** ON BOOTS CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE - Do not drive car or operate machinery*** ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID) - Warning: may cause drowsiness*** ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE - Warning keep out of children*** ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS - For indoor or outdoor use only.*** ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR - Not to be used for the other use*** ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS - Warning: contains nuts*** ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS - Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.*** ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW - Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands*** ON A PACKET OF SUNMAID RAISINS - Why not try tossing over your favorite breakfast cereal?

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing wen the fone rang - but instead if picking up the fone i accidently picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh dear," the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But. What happened to the other ear?"
"The son of a B***H called back!"

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)? On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???.....) On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????....) On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)? On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or more...

Sardaar Went For Interview In A Hardware Shop For The Post Of Sales Man.
The Manager Of The Shop Asked A Question:
"In A Weighing Balance, On One Pan 10 Kilo Iron Block Is Kept. On The Other Pan 10 Kilo Cotton Is Kept. Kaun Sa Side Neechey Jaayega?"

Sardaarji Scratched His Head For A Few Minutes............ And Said
"Iron Waala Side Neechey Jaayega"
"Kyun" Asked The Manager.
"Kyunki Loha (Iron) Kaapuz Se Jyada Bhari Hota Hai..........."