Japanese Jokes / Recent Jokes

The dazed crew of a Japanese Trawler were recovered off the Sea of Japan clinging to the wreckage of their ship.

Their rescue, however, was followed by immediate imprisonment once authorities questioned the sailors on their ship's loss.

They claimed that a cow, falling out of the clear blue sky, had struck the trawler amidships, shattering it's hull and sinking the vessel within minutes.

They remained in prison for several weeks, until the Russian Air Force reluctantly informed Japanese authorities that the crew of one of its cargo planes had apparently stolen a cow wandering at the edge of a Siberian airfield.

They forced the cow into the plane's hold and hastily departed for home.

Unprepared for live cargo, the Russian crew was ill-equipped to manage a rampaging cow within its hold. To save the aircraft and themselves, they shoved the animal out of the cargo hold as they crossed the Sea of Japan at an altitude of 30, 000 feet.

Three women -- one german, one japanese and a hillbilly were sitting naked in a sauna.

Suddenly there was a beeping sound.

The german pressed her forearm and the beep stopped.

The others looked at her questioningly.

a "that was my pager," she said. "i have a microchip under the skin of my arm."

a few minutes later, a phone rang.

The japanese woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, "that was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

the hillbilly woman felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive.

She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her behind.

The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her.

The hillbilly woman finally said, "well, will you look at that, i''m gettin'' a fax!

The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day the Japanese won by a mile.

The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.

The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering. After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.

The next year, the Japanese won by two miles!

Humiliated, the more...

On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman, 2 French men and 1 French woman, 2 German men and 1 German woman, 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman, 2 English men and 1 English woman, 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman, 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman, 2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman, 2 New Zealander men and 1 New Zealander woman, 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman, 2 American men and 1 American woman. One month later, the following things have occurred....
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together, having loads of sex.
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English more...

There`s a Jewish man and a Chinese man both sitting in a restaurant. Out of nowhere, the Jewish man knocks the Chinese man off his seat. The Chinese man shouts, "What that for?" The Jewish man replies, "Pearl Habor." The Chinese man looks confused and says, "I`m Chinese NOT Japanese!" The Jewish man replies, "Chinese japanese all the same to me." About an hour passes when the Chinese man leaves his seat and knocks the Jewish man off his chair. The Jewish man asks, "Was that for hitting you?" "No," he says, "It`s for the Titanic disaster." The Jewish man says "Titanic??" The Chinese man replies, "Iceberg, Goldberg, all the same to me!!"

Our Santa, a Japanese and a Britisher were lost in the desert.
They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down. Because they had nothing else, they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey.
The Japanese took the radiator, the Britisher took the seat, and our Santa took the door.
After a while of walking the Britisher asked the Japanese "I'm confused, why did you bring the radiator?"
The Japanese responded, "If I get thirsty, I can drink the fluid."
Next our Santa asked the Britisher "Why did you bring the seat?" So the Britisher said "If I get tired, I am not going to sit on the sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat."
Finally the Japanese asked our Hero why he had chosen the door. Santa quickly responded to this question, "Well, when it gets hot all I have to do is roll down the window."

An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Japanese team won by a mile. Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of "Executives" was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action. Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure. After some t ime and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that "too many people were more...