Japanese Jokes / Recent Jokes
In a Tokyo hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notice. In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub. Alongside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs. At a Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass? In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists. At a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run. A Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Coolers and Heaters: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself. From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still more...
It was the first day of school in Marietta, Georgia, and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said' Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775," he said.
"Very good! Who said' Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'"? Again, no response except from Suzuki. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863.", said Suzuki.
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do." he heard a loud whisper: "Fuck the Japs."
"Who said that?" she demanded. Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982." At that point, a student in the back said, more...
Four corporate presidents, one English, one French, one Japanese and one American, were on their way to an international business conference when they were kidnapped by terrorists and taken to a secret hideout. "You, your companies, and you countries are enemies of the Revolution," screamed the terrorist leader, "and you're going to be executed! Do you have any last requests?" The Englishman spoke first. "Before I die, I want to honor my country and protest this barbaric act by singing "God Save The Queen" to all you men." "That can be arranged," said the terrorist. The Frenchman said, "And I want to honor my country before I die by singing "The Marseilles" to your men." The Japanese said, "Before I die, I wish to honor my country by giving the lecture I was going to present on the Mapanese style of industrial management." The terrorist turned finally to the America n. "What is your last more...
The Japanese tourist
A tourist from Japan is walking the streets of Manhattan. He is trying to find Bloomingdales Department Store, without success. He stops an elderly Jewish-Polish woman, and asks: "Excuse me. Can you tell me how to find Bloomingdales?"
"You found Pearl Harbour. Find Bloomingdales!"
Four men got stranded on an caribbean island there was an English man, American, Irish man and a Japanese man. They all sat round the camp fire and discussed there roles the English man said ” I will be in charge of making everything” they all agreed the American said ” I will be in charge of our defense and weapons” they all agreed, the Irish man said ” I will be in charge of all the cooking” they all agreed. So the men went off leaving the Japanese man sitting there he said to the English man “What can i do” the English man replied “you can be in charge of the supplies” he was very happy with this.
Later that afternoon the Japanese man stood up and run off into the jungle the others thought he had seen something and had gone to investigate but he was gone for hours they left him to it and sat around the camp fire talking and waiting for the Japanese man to come back hours went by and still he had not come back so they all decided to go to sleep and when they more...
This speaks a lot about the Japanese quality standards and also cultural misunderstandings. They're still laughing about this at IBM. Apparently the computer giant decided to have some parts manufactured in Japan as a trial project. In the specifications, they set out that they will accept three defective parts per 10, 000. When the delivery came in there was an accompanying letter. "We, Japanese people, had a hard time understanding North American business practices. But the three defective parts per 10, 000 have been separately manufactured and have been included in the consignment. Hope this pleases you."
The Americans and Japanese decided to engage in a boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance levels. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile.
The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.
The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering: the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering.
After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team. So as race day neared again the following year, the American's team management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance more...