Japanese Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Japanese guy is at Los Angeles International Airport, waiting for his flight back home to Japan. While hes waiting, he goes to the currency exchange counter to change his remaining dollars. He counts his money at the counter. "Wait a minute," he says to the clerk, "When I came here I got more dollars for my yen. Whats going on here?""Fluctuations." says the clerk. The Japanese man stiffens. "Well! Fluck you Americans, too!"

Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai. Demonstrate your skills! commanded the Emperor. The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two! What a feat! said the Emperor. Number Two Samurai, show me what you can do. The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered! That is skill! nodded the Emperor. How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai? Number Three Samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and *Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around! In disappointment, more...

It seems that a young man volunteered for military service during World War II. He had such a high aptitude for aviation that he was sent right to Naval Air Station skipping recruit training.
The very first day at Air station he solos and is the best flier on the base. All they could do was give him his gold wings and assign him immediately to an aircraft carrier in the Pacific.
On his first day aboard, he took off and single-handedly shot down 6 Japanese Zeroes. Then climbing up to 20,000 ft., he found 9 more Japanese planes and shot them all down as well.
Noting that his fuel was getting low, he descended, circled the carrier and came in for a perfect landing on the deck.
He threw back the canopy, climbed out and jogged over to the captain. Saluting smartly he said, "Well sir, how did I do on my very first day?"
The captain turned around, bowed politely, and replied, "You make one velly, velly selious mistake!"

The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance levels.
On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile. The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged.
Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.
The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering.
After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team. So as race day neared again the following year, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized.
The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new more...

10. Called the Smurfs in for a "business meetin'" when they were contemplatin' a comeback. He also brought a few Italian goons t'the meetin' an'... well... let's just say that stain on his tail ain't barbecue sauce. 9. Actually thinks Ash is his mom, an' keeps havin' Oedipal dreams. 8. He's a MOUSE. C'mon, filth, disease, Bubonic Plague anyone? 7. Secret sponsors include "Society of People Who Want to Say' Gesundheit' When Someone Else Mentions A Cultural Phenomenon So That They (The People Who Say' Gesundheit') Can Think They're Hilarious." I'm a card-carryin' member. 6. Has Frosty the Snowman's eyes. Literally. 5. That Vegas strip club. 4. In obscure Koreo-Japanese dialect, "Pikachu" actually means "Barney". 3. Y'know Don King? Guested on South Park an' The Simpsons, managed Mike Tyson an' other popular rapists, an' pays people t'throw fights? He manages Pikachu, an' Team Rocket's on his payroll. 2. Pikachu keeps swipin' Queen Amidala's more...

It seems that a young man volunterred for military service during
World War II. He had such a high aptitude for aviation that he was sent
right to Pensecola skipping boot camp.
The very first day at Pensecola he solos and is the best flier on
the base. All they could do was give him his gold wings and assign him
immediately to an aircraft carrier in the Pacific.
On his first day aboard he took off and single-handedly shot down
6 Japanese Zeroes. Then climbing up to 20,000 ft. he found 9 more Japanese
planes and shot them all down, too.
Noting that his fuel was getting low, he descended, circled the
carrier and came in for a perfect landing on the deck. He threw back the
canopy, climbed out and jogged over to the captain. Saluting smartly he
said, "Well sir, how did I do on my very first day?"
The captain replied, "You make one velly impoltant mistake!"

body: A Chinese man went into a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter, he was amazed to see that he was sitting next to the famous Hollywood director, Steven Spielberg.
After a round of beer the Chinese sensed that the famous producer was glaring at him.
Suddenly, in a flash the Chinese crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious punch from the Director.
Picking himself up, he yelled, "What the hell was that for?"
The director ranted: "That's for the bombing of Pearl Harbour, you #@&%*~! My dad perished in that bombing!"
"I am not Japanese, you stupid **~#@#!?*! I am Chinese!"
"Yeah yeah yeah... Japanese, Burmese, Chinese, you are all the same", retorted Spielberg.
Regaining his composure, the Chinese took his seat and ordered a double from the bartender.
A few seconds later, the Chinese turned around and delivered a mighty punch to the director, sending him flat onto the more...