Jingle Jokes / Recent Jokes

Looking for a new pet for his wife, a man entered a pet store and asked the salesman for some assistance. The salesman took the man to a parrot at the back of the store.
"This is the perfect pet for your wife," the salesman said. "Chet is a very special creature."
"What makes him so special?" the man asked.
"Watch," said the salesman, as he took a lighter from his pocket and held it under Chet's right foot. Chet immediately began to sing "Deck the halls... " Then, the salesman held the lighter under Chet's left foot and Chet started to sing "Jingle Bells, jingle bells... "
The man was so impressed with Chet that he bought him and hurried home to his wife.
"Look what I bought for you, honey," he said. "This is Chet and he's a very special parrot."
"What makes him so special?" asked the wife.
"Watch," replied the man, as he took a lighter out of his pocket and more...

Jingle bells, Shopping bells, jingle all the way,
Oh, what fun it is to go shopping everyday.
Candy store, five and ten, sports shop after that,
Toys for all the kiddies and don't forget the cat.

Dashing thru the crowds, people everywhere,
Up and down the aisles, sneezing in my hair.
There's so much to choose, there's so much to see.
Wonder if what I got you cost more'n what you got me.
Chorus
Shopping Bells, Jingle Bells, will they never stop,
I've been shopping all week long and I'm about to drop.
Ring them bells somewhere else far away from here,
Ain't it really lucky Christmas comes but once a year?
Verse
Wrap your presents nice, Pretty bows that shine,
Take them out to mail, You're gonna wait in line.
Find your way back home, and if you're like me,
Maybe on the twenty-fourth, You'll get to trim the tree.
Chorus
Jingle Bells, Shopping Bells, Jingle dear Saint Nick,
Got a more...

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY - Thoughts of Roasting in an Open Fire.
DEMENTIA - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.
MANIA - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town... or Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense!
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY - We Three Kings Disoriented Are.
NARCISSISTIC - Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me).
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE - Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell...
PARANOIA - Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me.
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE - On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).
PERSONALITY DISORDER - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll tell you why.
SCHIZOPHRENIA - Do You Hear What I Hear?

A man walked into a pet store looking for a new pet for his wife.
So he asked the salesman for some assistance. The salesguy brought the man to a parrot in the back.
"Now this is the perfect pet for your wife, Chet is an very special animal" the salesman said.
"What makes him so special?" the man asked.
The salesman took a lighter from his pocket and held it under the Chet's right foot, and Chet started to sing "Jingle bells, jingle bells.." and then the salesman held the lighter under is left foot and Chet started to sing "Deck the halls..."
So the man asked, "What happens if you hold the lighter between his feet?"
"Well I don't know" answered the salesman.
So he holds the lighter between the parrot's legs and instantly Chet began to sing...
"Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire..."

A man walked into a pet store looking for a new pet for his wife.So he asked the salesman for some assistance. The salesguy brought the man to a parrot in the back."Now this is the perfect pet for your wife, Chet is an very special animal" the salesman said."What makes him so special?" the man asked.The salesman took a lighter from his pocket and held it under the Chet's right foot, and Chet started to sing "Jingle bells, jingle bells.." and then the salesman held the lighter under is left foot and Chet started to sing "Deck the halls..."So the man asked, "What happens if you hold the lighter between his feet?""Well I don't know" answered the salesman.So he holds the lighter between the parrot's legs and instantly Chet began to sing..."Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire..."

UNIQUE PARROT
A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a unique
gift for his wife. The store manager tells him he has just what he's
looking for! A beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas carols.
He brings the husband over to a colorful but quiet bird. The man agrees
that Chet certainly is pretty, but he doesn't seem to be much for singing.
The manager tells him to watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out
a lighter.
The manager then clicks the lighter and holds it under Chet's left foot.
Immediately Chet starts singing; "Silent Night, Holy Night." The husband
is very impressed with Chet's singing abilities and watches as the manager
moves the lighter underneath Chet's right foot. Chet now starts to sing
"Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way." The husband says Chet is perfect and
that he'll take him.
The husband rushes home to his wife and insists upon giving her more...

Yesterday I visited a translation website and translated some Christmas carols into other languages, then back into English. The results as follows:
Jingleglocken, jingleglocken, jingle completely.
Oh which fun it is to ride into a horse-opened sleigh.
("Jingle Bells," translated into German and then back into English)
Ring of sleighbells, are you listening?
In the track the snow is shining.
A beautiful vista, we are tonight happy,
Walking in the country of the wonders of the winter.
("Winter Wonderland," Spanish)
Icily Snowman a lucky merry soul
With one was formed from a key corncob,
And the nose and two eyes, those from coal.
("Frosty the Snowman," German)
Rudolph the red-nose reindeer has had a nose a lot polishes,
And if you never saw it, you would even say that she emits light.
("Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," Italian)
You would improve the clock towards the more...