Jingle Jokes / Recent Jokes
Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear? Multiple Personality -- We Three Queens Disoriented AreDementia -- I Think I'll Be Home For ChristmasNarcissistic -- Hark the Herald Angels Sing (About Me)Mania -- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and... or Deck the Halls and Spare No ExpensesBorderline Personality -- Thoughts of Roasting in an Open FireParanoia -- Santa Claus is Coming To Get MePersonality Disorder -- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry. I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll Tell You WhyDepression -- Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia. All is Calm, All is Pretty LonelyObsessive Compulsive -- Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock... Passive Aggressive -- On the First Day of Christmas My Mother Gave to Me... (And Then Took it All Away)
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.
“Why, my outfit was so well drilled, ” declared one, “that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click. ”
“Very good, ” conceded the other, “but when my company presented arms you’d just hear slap, slap, jingle. ”
“What was the jingle? ” asked the first. “Oh, ” replied the other offhand, “just our medals. ”
Star Trek Carols
Jean-Luc Picard (to the tune of ''Let It Snow'')
Oh, the vacuum outside is endless,
Unforgiving, cold, and friendless,
But still we must boldly go-
Make it so, make it so, make it so!
William Riker: (to the tune of ''Deck the Halls'')
Here's a vexing Christmas riddle:
(Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la la)
Why must I play second fiddle?
(Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la la)
How can I impress Deanna
(Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la la la)
When I'm number two banana?
(Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la la)
Wesley Crusher: (to the tune of ''God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen'')
I'm at Starfleet Academy,
And I'd just like to say
I miss the opportunity
To weekly save the day-
To make things worse, I have to be
In some dumb Christmas play!
Yes, I'm bright, though I'm just a teenaged boy,
Only a boy,
And the Enterprise was my most favourite toy!
Data: (to the tune of ''Jingle Bells'')
Jingle Bells, Jingle more...
Jingle Bells
My job smells
Rudolph wants a raise
Reindeer union was on strike
All of Christmas Day
Hey! Dancer took a bust
For a DUI
Prancer got possession
And now he's doing life
Missis Clause is mad
I stayed out all last night
And now she's getting a divorce
Because of this day's fight Jingle Bells
My job smells
Rudolph wants a raise
Reindeer union was on strike
All of Christmas Day
Hey! The cops here really stink
They don't know who I am
Got busted for doing sixty
In a fifty five
The Missis is a bitch
She won the divorce
And now I have to walk because
She got herself the sleighJingle Bells
My job smells
Rudolph wants a raise
Reindeer union was on strike
All of Christmas Day
Hey! All the elves they suck
Bunch a little pricks
Cannot make a descent toy
That won't take out my eye
I drank some sour milk
And poisoned cookies too
So I beat the living more...
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. "Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click." "Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle." "What was the jingle?" asked the first. "Oh," replied the other offhand, "just our medals."
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. "Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click.""Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle.""What was the jingle?" asked the first. "Oh," replied the other off hand, "just our medals."
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.
"Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click."
"Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle."
"What was the jingle?" asked the first. "Oh," replied the other offhand, "just our medals."