Joint Jokes / Recent Jokes

Isn't this the truth!... 1970: Long Hair2000: Longing for hair1970: The perfect high. 2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund. 1970: Keg. 2000: EKG. 1970: Acid Rock. 2000: Acid Reflux. 1970: Moving to California because it's cool. 2000: Moving to California because it's warm. 1970: Growing pot. 2000: Growing pot belly. 1970: Douglas Street bridge. 2000: Dental bridge. 1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents. 2000: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children. 1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. 2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. 1970: Seeds and stems. 2000: Roughage. 1970: Popping pills, smoking joints. 2000: Popping joints. 1970: Our president's struggle with Fidel. 2000: Our president's struggle with fidelity. 1970: Paar. 2000: AARP. 1970: Being caught with Hustler magazine. 2000: Being caught with Hustler magazine. 1970: Killer weed. 2000: Weed killer. 1970: Hoping for a BMW. 2000: Hoping for more...

What are seniors worth anyway? They are worth a fortune, with all the silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys and lead in their feet. Well I have become a little older since I saw you last and a few changes have come into my life since then. Frankly, I have become quitea frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. I immediately go to see John. After that Charlie Horse comes along, and he really takes a lot of my time and attention. When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays for the rest of the day. However, he doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he just takes me from joint to joint. Finally after such a busy tiring day, I'm really glad to be able to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life!! P. S. The preacher came by the other day. He said at my age, I should be thinking about the hereafter. I told him,' Oh I do all the time. No matter where I am, in the parlor, upstairs, in more...

A School Master from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a new School in Mumbai. He reported for duty two days after the actual date of joining. Consequently he was asked for an explanation in writing. He has replied to that as follows
_________
Deer sur,
If small small mistakes getting inside my letter, I big you pardon, ass I am not a good englis speaker.
This is my fist vijit to Bombai. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following region, too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment.
I tolded I has head ache problem due to migration. Still the clerk rejected to give ticket to I and my sun.
I putted a complain on station masterji.
He said I to go to the lady clerk.
At first she also rejected. I then pressed for long time and finally with great difficulty she gave a birth to my sun.
Anyway I thanked the station master also because he was phully responsible for more...

What are seniors worth anyway? They are worth a fortune, with all the silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys and lead in their feet.

Well I have become a little older since I saw you last and a few changes have come into my life since then. Frankly, I have become quitea frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. I immediately go to see John.

After that Charlie Horse comes along, and he really takes a lot of my time and attention. When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays for the rest of the day. However, he doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he just takes me from joint to joint. Finally after such a busy tiring day, I'm really glad to be able to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life!!

P. S. The preacher came by the other day. He said at my age, I should be thinking about the hereafter. I told him,' Oh I do all the time. No matter where I more...

Dear Maevis, I have become a little older since I saw you last and a few changes have come into my life since then. I have become quite a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen every day. Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I go to see John. Then Charlie Horse comes along and when he is here, he takes a lot of my time and attention. When he leaves Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint. After such a busy day I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life! The preacher came to call the other day. He said that at my age, I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him I do all the time. No matter where I am, in the den, in the bedroom, in the kitchen or in the garage, I ask myself, "What am I here after?" Well, I guess growing old is not so bad since old folks are worth a fortune with silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their more...

Old & New concerns for the baby boomers: Then: Long hair. Now: Longing for hair. Then: KegNow: EKG. Then: Acid rockNow: Acid reflux. Then: Moving to California because it's cool. Now: Moving to California because it's hot. Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents. Now: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your kids. Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. Then: Seeds and stems. Now: Roughage. Then: Popping pills, smoking joints. Now: Popping joints. Then: Our president's struggle with Fidel. Now: Our president's struggle with fidelity. Then: Paar. Now: AARP. Then: Being caught with Hustler magazine. Now: Being caught by Hustler magazine. Then: Killer weed. Now: Weed killer. Then: Hoping for a BMW. Now: Hoping for a BM. Then: The Grateful Dead. Now: Dr. Kevorkian. Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint. Now: Getting a new hip joint.

A patient in a mental hosptial was being reviewed to determine whether he was ready to be released.
When asked what he would do if he was released, he answered, "I'm going to make a slingshot, come back here and break every damn window in the joint."
Needless to say, his release was denied.
A few months later, the board was again considering his release and again they asked him the same question. His reply was the same as the previous time: "I'm going to make a slingshot, come back here and break every damn window in the joint."
Again, his release was denied.
Some months later, he was talking with a fellow patient and complaining that he could never seem to get released. The patient asked him what he said when they interviewed him, and he told him. "You'll never get released with answers like that," the fellow patient said. "What you have to do is tell them what they want to hear. Let me give you some advice on how to answer them more...