Jonah Jokes / Recent Jokes

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
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A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God more...

The All Blacks were playing England, and after the half-time whistle blew they found themselves ahead 50-0, Jonah Lomu getting eight tries.

The rest of the team decided to head for the pub instead of playing the second half, leaving Jonah to go out on his own.

"No worries," Jonah told them, "I'll join you later and tell you what happened."

After the game Jonah headed for the pub where he told his teammates the final score: 95-3.

"What!!!!" said a furious Josh Kronfeld, "How did you let them get three points??!"

Jonah replied apologetically, "I was sent off with 20 minutes to go."

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whale. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though they are ve ry large mammals, their throats are very small.
The little girl stated Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated a whale could not swallow a human; it was impossible. The little girl said, “I believe it because God said so”.
The teacher said that’s a book, even the bible, could not go against biological facts. And besides, there was no proof that there really was a God anyway. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah”.
The teacher asked, “what if Jonah went to hell? ”
The little girl replied, “Then you ask him. ”

What`s the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale?
You can`t keep a good man down!

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him!"

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though they were a very large mammal their throat was very small. The little girl stated Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated a whale could not swallow a human it was impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

A woman was trying to make her husband go to church with her, but he refused. One day he asked her if she really believed in that stuff in the Bible about the whale swallowing Jonah, and she said, "I believe it because the Bible says it's true." She told him that when she got to Heaven she would ask Jonah about it.
Her husband said, "What if he isn't in Heaven?"
His wife replied, "In that case, you ask him."