Journal Jokes / Recent Jokes

USA Today: WE'RE DEAD.

Wall Street Journal: Dow Jones Plummets as World Ends.

National Enquirer: O. J. and Nicole, Together Again.

Inc. Magazine: 10 Ways You Can Profit From the Apocalypse.

Rolling Stone: The Grateful Dead Reunion Tour.

Sports Illustrated: Game Over.

Playboy: Girls of the Apocalypse.

Lady's Home Journal: Lose 10 Pounds by Judgment Day with Our New "Armageddon" Diet!

TV Guide: Death and Damnation: Nielson Ratings Soar!

Discover Magazine: How will the extinction of all life as we know it affect the way we view the cosmos?

Microsoft Systems Journal: Netscape Loses Market Share.

Microsoft's Web Site: If you don't experience the rapture, DOWNLOAD software patch RAPT777. EXE.

America OnLine: System temporarily down. Try calling back in 15 minutes.

The medical journal "Dermatologic Surgery" reports that injecting Botox into frown lines appears to ease depression. A competing journal, "Poppy Seed Weekly," reports that nothing injects happy like heroin.

When the end of the world arrives how will the media report it?
USA Today: WE'RE DEAD
The Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS
National Enquirer: O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN
Playboy: GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE
Microsoft Systems Journal: APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE
Victoria's Secret Catalog: OUR FINAL SALE
Sports Illustrated: GAME OVER
Wired: THE LAST NEW THING
Rolling Stone: THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR
Readers Digest: BYE
Discover Magazine: HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT
AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS?
TV Guide: DEATH AND DAMNATION: NIELSON RATINGS SOAR!
Lady's Home Journal: LOSE 10 LBS. BY JUDGEMENT DAY WITH OUR
NEW "ARMAGEDDON" DIET!
America Online: SYSTEM TEMPORARILY DOWN. TRY CALLING BACK IN 15 MINUTES.
Inc. magazine: TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE
Microsoft's Web Site: IF YOU DIDN'T EXPERIENCE THE RAPTURE, DOWNLOAD
SOFTWARE PATCH more...