June Jokes / Recent Jokes

June 18 - June 24

"I didn't have time to giftwrap it. It just came out of the dog's ass."

- Alec Baldwin's daughter Ireland, giving him his Father's Day present.

A lady walked into a bar and there were no seats available, except for one at a table that was occupied by a man, and she decides to take it. He said, "Hello, my name is Jim Snow, what's yours?"
The women replied, "June."
She went to get a drink and Jim Snow sat there smiling at her. When she came back he still sat there smiling.
June was a little embarrassed, so she bashfully said, "Why are you smiling at me like that?"
Jim answered, "Well, just imagine having 6 inches of Snow in June!"

Auburn Police
23400 block, 102nd Place Southeast - A woman reported that someone stole mail from her condo and, when she was gone, entered the place to tie her shoelaces together, tilt pictures on the walls and take snaps from her clothing. There had been no forced entries. No arrests were made. (May 30)
Renton Police
3000 block, Southeast Royal Hills Drive - A 5-year-old boy threatened a 6-year-old boy with a steak knife, saying he would kill the other boy unless he agreed to come out and play. Officers arrived and took the knife, and no charges were filed due to the ages of the boys. (May 26)
Maple Valley Precinct
67200 Maple Valley-Black Diamond Highway - A Maple Valley man told police somebody broke into his house, carried a few items outside onto the lawn and set them on fire. (June 1)
Green River Community College - Campus security detained two young men prowling cars in the parking lot. One youth, estimated to be about 16, fled, but an 18-year-old was more...

The truck driver stopped to picked up the girl hitchhiker in short shorts." Say, what's your name, mister?" she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck." It's Snow, Roy Snow," he answered, "and what's yours?" "I'm June, June Hansen," she said. "Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances?" she challenged the trucker some miles down the road." Can you imagine what it might be like," he countered with a question of his own, "having eight inches of Snow in June?"

June 4 - June 10

"Do you think it will fit in my trunk, or maybe I can just roll it home."

- Bob Barker, trying to figure out how to get the showcase showdown wheel to his house after the last "Price is Right" broadcast.