Junior Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. You dress the kids up to go to K-mart. You know the full names of more than three wrestlers. You drive more than 35 miles with your turn signal on. Your front porch collapses and kills more than 6 dogs. You've ever used lard in bed. You think potted meat and saltines is an hors d'oeuvre. You consider a six pack and a bug zapper quality entertainment. More than half your cars don't run. Your mother doesn't remove the marlboro from her lips before telling the state trooper to kiss her ass. You honestly believe that women are turned on by animal moises and seductive toungue gestures You've ever barbecued spam on the grill. The primary color on your car is "primer". You have a stuffed possum somewhere in your house. The rear tires on your car are twice as wide as the front. Your diploma includes the words "Trucking Institute". Your wife or mother has ever been involved in a fistfight at a high school sporting event. The most common expression heard at your family more...

Grandma took her grandson Junior to a seance. The medium was supposed to be quite an expert at communicating with the spirits of the recently departed. Soon the medium had everyone quietly, nervously, breathlessly awaiting contact with the spirit world - except Junior.
"I wanna talk to my grandpa!" he demanded.
The medium and Grandma tried to get him to be quiet, but he insisted. "I wanna talk to my grandpa!"
Finally, the medium snapped "All right, kid, look over there! There's your grandpa!" and with a wave of her hand, a ghostly-looking figure appeared.
"Hi, Gramps!" called Junior. "What are you doing here? You ain't dead."

Two good ol' boys, Bubba and Junior get promoted from Privates to Sergeants. Not long after, they're out for a walk and Bubba says, "Hey, Junior - there's the NCO Club. Let's you and me stop in and have us a drank." "But we's privates," protests Junior." NO, we's sergeants now," says Bubba, pulling him inside"Now, Junior, I'm gonna sit down and have me a drank." "But, we's privates," says Junior." You blind, boy!" says Bubba, pointing at his stripes. "We's Sergeants now!"So they order their drinks and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Bubba." You're cute," she says, "and I'd like to take you someplace and make you feel good -- but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea." Bubba pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Junior, go look in the dictionary and see what that gonorrhea means. If it's good, give me the okay sign." Junior goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Bubba the big okay more...

Submarines are safer than airplanes.
Proof in the fact is there are more airplanes in the water than submarines in the air!

Response from a junior (very junior) sonar watchstander
“Sonar - Conn, Report all contacts in preparation in coming to periscope depth”
“Conn - Sonar, I hold no contacts - how ’bout you..? ”
“Sonar - Conn, Supervisor to the Conn”

Qmow: “Navigator we’re on a course for sea mounts. ”
Nav: “Exec we’re heading for shallow water. ”
Exec: ” Captain, we’re running out of water. ”
Capt: “What, no water, …very well, secure the showers. ”

A blonde began a job as an Junior school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during break she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other. Sandy approached and asked if he was alright. The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself. Approaching again, Sandy said, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked "Why are you standing here all alone? Why don't you go and join those boys playing football over there?" "Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I'm the bloody goalie."Sent by Gerald

The first posting of a young entrant to the Indian Administrative Service was as a junior assistant to the Secretary of the Ministry.
One morning, he took some important files to discuss with his boss. After knocking on the door and receiving no reply he gently pushed open the door to find his senior standing by the window deeply engrossed in his thoughts. He tiptoed out of the room.
Since the files were marked' immediate' he went back to the Secretary's room and again receiving no reply to his knock, went in. The boss was still standing where he had been, intently looking out of the window. Junior sahib coughed lightly to make his presence known. The secretary turned round and remarked,' How can this country go forward? For the last one hour I have been watching the workmen on the road. They haven't done a stroke of work.'

A teacher in New York decided to honor each of her seniors in
high school by telling them the difference they each made. Using a
process developed by Helice Bridges of Del Mar, California, she called
each student to the front of the class, one at a time. First she told
them how the student made a difference to her and the class. Then she
presented each of them with a blue ribbon imprinted with gold letters
which read, "Who I Am Makes a Difference."
Afterwards the teacher decided to do a class project to see what
kind of impact recognition would have on a community. She gave each
of the students three more ribbons and instructed them to go out and
spread this acknowledgment ceremony. Then they were to follow up on the
results, see who honored whom and report back to the class in about a
week
One of the boys in the class went to a junior executive in a
nearby company and honored him for helping him with his more...