Kanjibhai Jokes / Recent Jokes

Kanjibhai is talking to the family doctor.
"Doc, I think my wife Rupaben going deaf."
The doctor answers, "Well, here's something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question.
If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again.
Keep repeating this until she answers.
Then you'll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is."
Kanjibhai goes home and tries it out. He walks in the door and says,
"Muna ni Ba, what's for dinner?"
He doesn't hear an answer, so he moves closer to her.
"Eh are you listening, what's for dinner?"
Still no answer.
He repeats this several times, until he's standing just a few feet away from her.
Finally, Rupaben answers,
"For the eleventh time, I said we're having THEPLA!"

Once there was a little boy called Rohit who lived in the country.
They had to use an outhouse, and Rohit hated it because it was hot in the summer, cold in the winter and stank all the time.
The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the river.
One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so Rohit decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the river.
So he got a large stick and started pushing.
Finally, the outhouse toppled into the river and floated away.
That night his dad Kanjibhai told him they were going to the woodshed after supper.
Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why.
Kanjibhai replied, "someone pushed the outhouse into the river today. It was you, wasn't it, son?"
Rohit answered yes.
Then he thought a moment and said,
"Dad, I read in school today that Gandhiji chopped down a Pipal tree and didn't get more...

Kanjibhai was preparing wedding cards for their son at the printers.
Kanjibhai was not very good at English so he asked the printer to help him.
After the printer had presented Kanjibhai with a draft, Kanjibhai quickly pointed out that the " RSVP " was missing.
The printer was surprised by Kanjibhai's knowledge and asked him if Kanjibhai knew what it meant.
Kanjibhai started to think and after much thought he replied:
"Vait! I remember! I remember! RSVP!! It means "Remember, Send Vedding Present!"

Rupaben's husband kanjibhai asked her what she wanted for her birthday.

She thought for a moment and remembering the diamonds in the deck of cards said, "this year i just want cold, hard cash for a change."

The following day kanjibhai filled her request.

He put 200 rupee coins into a glass jar, then filled it with water and placed it in the freezer.

On her birthday he handed his wife a solidly frozen bottle of change.

Once there was a little boy called Rohit who lived in the country.
They had to use an outhouse, and Rohit hated it because it was hot in
the summer, cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was
sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he
would push that outhouse into the river.
One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so Rohit decided
today was the day to push the outhouse into the river. So he
got a large stick and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled
into the river and floated away.
That night his dad Kanjibhai told him they were going to the woodshed
after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why.
Kanjibhai replied, "someone pushed the outhouse into the river today.
It was you, wasn't it, son?"
Rohit answered yes.
Then he thought a moment and said,
"Dad, I read in school today that Gandhiji chopped down a Pipal tree more...

Kanjibhai the jeweller called the police station to report a robbery. "You'll never believe what happened, Officer. A truck backed up to my store, the doors opened and an elephant came out. He broke my plate glass window, stuck his trunk in, sucked up all the jewellery and climbed back into the truck.
The doors closed and the truck pulled away."

The Pandu hawaldar said, "Could you tell me, for identification purposes, whether it was an Indian elephant or an African elephant?"

"What's the difference?" asked Kanjibhai Jaweri.

"Well," said the Hawaldar, "an African elephant has great big ears and an Indian elephant has little ears."

"Come to think of it, I couldn't see his ears," said Kanjibhai "He had a stocking over his head."

Kanjibhai and Ramjibhai were getting ready for the company awards dinner for the best salesman. Kanjibhai was in the running to win an award that evening and wanted to make sure he looked his best when he claimed his prize. He felt his luck was with him and was sure to win.
He stood in front of the mirror to fix his tie but the mirror was crooked, so he reached over to straighten it out and it came crashing down on the floor.

"Oh no," said Kanjibhai. "Now I am going to have seven years bad luck."

"Nonsense," said Ramjibhai. My uncle once broke a mirror and he didn't have seven years bad luck."

"Really?" said Kanjibhai, feeling much better knowing that.

"Yeah really," said Ramjibhai. "He died that day."