Kansas Jokes / Recent Jokes
Out in Kansas, tornadoes often hit with sudden devastation, and without warning. In one case, a house was completely whisked away, leaving only the foundation and first floor. A silver-haired farm lady was seen sitting dazed, in a bathtub, the only remaining part of the house left above the floor. The rescue squad rushed to her aid and found her unhurt. She was just sitting there in the tub, talking to herself. "It was the most amazing thing. .. it was the most amazing thing." she kept repeating dazedly. "What was the most amazing thing, Ma'am?" asked one of the rescuers. "I was visiting my daughter here, taking a bath, and all I did was pull the plug and dog-gone-it if the whole house didn't suddenly drain away."
Herm Edwards could return as head coach of the Chiefs. In a related story, Herm Edwards might be clinically insane.
If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed. The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks. Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats. No one may catch fish with his bare hands. Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights. It is illegal to spit on a sidewalk. All places of business must provide a horse water troft No one may wear a bee in their hat. All cars entering the city limits must first sound their horn to warn the horses of their arrival. Musical car horns are banned It is against the law to leave your car running unattended. The installation of bathtubs is prohibited. Any person caught using or carrying bean snappers or the like shall upon conviction, be fined. -City ordinance 349 of Wichita, Kansas. Before proceeding through the interesection of Douglas and Broadway, a motorist is required to get out of their vehice and fire three shot gun rounds into the air.
The Kansas City Chiefs will cut Larry Johnson's gay-slur suspension in half. But he can't giggle when the stadium announcer introduces Mike Cox and Lance Long.
Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats. Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights. No one may catch fish with his bare hands. The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks. If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed. Dodge City It is illegal to spit on a sidewalk. All places of business must provide a horse water troft Lawrence All cars entering the city limits must first sound their horn to warn the horses of their arrival. No one may wear a bee in their hat. Russell Musical car horns are banned Salina It is against the law to leave your car running unattended. Topeka The installation of bathtubs is prohibited. Wichita Before proceeding through the interesection of Douglas and Broadway, a motorist is required to get out of their vehice and fire three shot gun rounds into the air. Any person caught using or carrying bean snappers or the like shall upon conviction, be fined. -City ordinance 349 of more...
It's against the law to pawn your dentures in Las Vegas.
In Maine, it's illegal for a police officer to tell you to have a nice day after giving you a traffic ticket.
In Natoma, Kansas, it's illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suits.
You can't sleep with chickens in Clawson City, Mich.
In California, it's against the law to use your dirty underwear as a dust rag.
It's illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while you're sitting on a curb in St. Louis.
It's against the law in Chicago to eat in a place that is on fire.
It's illegal to slurp soup in New Jersey.
In Mayville MI it is illegal to play frisbee in the street.
In Kansas it is illegal to have cherry pie alamode (icecream on cherry pie)
In Los Angeles it is illegal to have an icecream cone in your pocket.
One day three couples in a minivan are heading to Yellowstone National Park on a vacation. One couple is from Nebraska, one is from Kansas, and one is from Iowa. They stop at a little cafe on the side of the road for breakfast.
Their waitress serves them their food, and the husband from Nebraska says, "could you pass the honey honey?" to whom his wife, hands over the honey.
Then, the husband from Kansas says " Could you pass the sugar sugar?" and she passes him the sugar.
The Iowan husband sits there for a minute, then looks at his wife and says "Wanna pass me the bacon, pig?"