Keeper Jokes / Recent Jokes

ok...there is this dumb blond who walks into a stor and says"can i buy this t.v.?"the shop worker says"no, dumb blonds cany buy this"...the next day she dies her hair blue and says"can i buy this t.v. please?"and the shop keeper says"dumb blonds cant buy this"...so the next day she dies her hair purple and says"can i PLEASE buy this t.v?" but then again the shop keeper says"NO.DUMB BLONDS CANY BUY THESE THINGS!"then the girl says"how do you know im a dumb blond?" and the shop keeper says"becuase thats a microwave!"

Man to store keeper: I'd like some nails Store keeper to man: How long do you want them Man to store keeper: Oh I'd like to keep them

A tourist walks into a pet shop in Silicon Valley, and is browsing around the cages on display. While he's there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey, please".
The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage at the side of the shop and takes out a monkey. He fits a collar and leash and hands it to the customer, saying "That'll be $5, 000". The customer pays and walks out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist goes over to the shopkeeper and says, "That was a very expensive monkey, most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?"
"Oh", says the shopkeeper, "that monkey can program in C with very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."
The tourist starts to look at the monkeys in the cage. He says to the shop keeper, "That one's even more expensive, $10, 000! What does it do?"
"Oh", says the shopkeeper, "that one's a C++ more...

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were becoming very impatient with a slow group of golfers ahead of them. "What's with these guys," the engineer grumbled. "We've been waiting for at least 15 minutes."
"Ineptitude," the pastor replied. "Here comes the greens keeper. Why don't we have a word with him."
"George, what's up with the group ahead of us? They're pretty slow, aren't they?"
"Oh, yes," the greens keeper replied, "they're a group of firefighters. Sadly, they lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire a year ago, so we always allow them to play for free anytime."
"That is sad," the pastor said. "I will be sure to say a special prayer for them tonight."
"Excellent idea," the doctor said. "I'll contact an ophthalmologist buddy of mine and ask if there's anything he can do for them."
"Why can't these guys play at night?" said the more...

A man comes into a pub, sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The bar keeper brings him his beer. After he has drunk it, he grabs in his bag and puts a small piano on the bar, grabs in his bag and puts a small chair on the bar and grabs a third time in his bag and sits down a small man on that chair.
And the small man plays piano very well, a the most beatyful music they've ever heared. After he's finished, everyone applauds. And the bar keeper asks the man: "Where do you have it from? It's so wonderful."
And the man said: "I own an dgini-lamp. And so I got this by a wish of mine. Hey," he said to the bar keeper, "do you have a wish? You can wish you everything!"
"Me?", the bar keeper asks. "I have a wish for free? Coo-ool." Ok, no sooner said than done, the man grabs in his bag and gets out from it the meant lamp. He rubs at the side of the lamp and the dgini appeares: "Ok, budy. You have one wish for free." more...

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."
"Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, more...

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!""Ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause]"Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they?"The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."The group was silent for a moment.The pastor said, "That's so sad I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"