Keeper Jokes / Recent Jokes

The nervous young batsman was having a terrible time and was lucky to still be at the crease. During a lull, he stammered to the wicket keeper,' Well, I expect you've seen worse players.'

Silence....


He said' I said I expect you've seen worse players.'

'I heard you the first time. I was just trying to think.'

Once a Sardarji goes to a mirror shop to buy a mirror. He wanders all over the shop before the shopkeeper comes and asks him, ”May I help you? ”.

Sardar: “I want a very strong mirror”.
Shop keeper: “Try this one sir! Its just Rs. 1000/-”

Sardar: “Is it really that strong? ”
Shop keeper: “Yes sir. If u want to know, you can throw this mirror from 100 storeyed building. This mirror does not breaks upto 99 floors sir!! ”

Sardar: “Wah! bahuth badiya hai!! ”
He pays the shop keeper and leaves with that mirror!!

A Catholic Priest, an Indian Doctor, a rich Chinese businessman and an Aussie were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.
The Aussie fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The Indian Doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such poor golf!"
The Chinese Businessman called out, "Move it, time is money."
The Catholic Priest said, "Here comes George the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."
"Hello, George!", said the Catholic Priest. "What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
George the greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free any time."
The group fell silent for a moment. The Catholic Priest said, "That's so sad. I more...

Why did the elephant paint his toenails red? So he could hide in the cherry tree! What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo? Big holes all over Australia! What's the difference between a sick elephant and seven days? One is a weak one and the other one week! What pill would you give to an elephant that can't sleep? Trunkquilizers! Why are elephants grey? So you can tell them from flamingos! Elephant Keeper: "My Elephant isn't well, do you know a good animal doctor?" Zoo Keeper: "No, all the doctors I know are people!" Why do elephants scratch themselves? Because they're the only ones who know where they itch! How does an elephant get down from a tree? He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn! Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours? Because he wanted to hide in the colouring box! How do you know that peanuts are fattening? Have you ever seen a skinny elephant?

Why did the elephant walk on two feet? To give the ants a chance! Why do elephants have trunks? Because they've no pockets to put things in! Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain? To stop getting wet! What do elephants do in the evenings? Watch elevision! How to elephants talk to each other? By 'elephone! What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses? Nothing, he didn't recognize them! When do elephants have 8 feet? When there are two of them! What did the elephant say to the famous detective? It's ele-mentary, my dear Sherlock! Zoo Keeper:"I've lost one of my elephants"Other Zoo Keeper:"Why don't you put an advert in the paper?"Zoo Keeper:"Don't be silly, he can't read!" What do you do if you find a blue elephant? Try and cheer him up!

One day a drummer sick of all of the "stupid drummer" jokes decided to change instruments. So he went to the local music store and said that he wanted to learn a new instrument. The store owner cheerfully replied ok and asked what he would be interested in playing.

After looking around the shop he said I'll try those things over there, pointing to the accordion section.

After looking through the accordions from over an hour the shop keeper said, "Have you found what you looking for?"
The drummer replied, "Yes, I'll take that big red one over there."
The store keeper smiled and and stared laughing. When the drummer asked why he was laughing the store keeper replied, "Are you a drummer, son?"
"Yeah!" replied the drummer.
"Well that big red thing is a radiator"

ok...there is this dumb blond who walks into a stor and says "can i buy this t.v.?" the shop worker says "no, dumb blonds cany buy this"...the next day she dies her hair blue and says "can i buy this t.v. please?" and the shop keeper says "dumb blonds cant buy this"...so the next day she dies her hair purple and says "can i PLEASE buy this t.v?" but then again the shop keeper says "NO.DUMB BLONDS CANY BUY THESE THINGS!" then the girl says "how do you know im a dumb blond?" and the shop keeper says "becuase thats a microwave!"