Keeper Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was sudden increase of demand for the Kotex pads in the Anuradapura district and the sales manager of the company in Colombo was unable to explain why there is a sudden demand even higher than in Colombo City and suburbs. So, he asked a team to go to Anuradapura to investigate it.
The team arrived in a rural area and inquired from a small shop where there was a large stock of pads for sale. Before they could ask a single question several people came and bought kotex pads.
Every one of them asked the shop keeper to give a "Mukkawadam" and shop keeper obliged with a Kotex pad.
The shop keeper finally explained the secrete of demand for pads. He said our farmers in Anuradapura use the pads for providing protection against breathing fumes of poison when they spray pestisides on the crops, using Kotex pads as MUKKAWADAM which has become very popular than for its intended use.
Tis building is firing, and one women is trying escape from the building with her kid in hand in the top floor of the building. All the people out side the building telling her to throw the kid we all will catch dont worry, but the women(mother)is not sure about the people.
She said No I cant do that. At the same One Goal Keeper(football) said, Hey lady throw the kid, I will surely catch dont worry, because I was one of the worldclass Goal Keeper, Dont worry Throw I will catch him. Now the women thinking I cannot hold this, I have to throw the kid down orelse we both we be burn and die, finally, she decided to throw the kid to Goal keeper and the crowd and threw.
The Goal Haaa haaa everybody go away I will catch him I will catch, dont worry, finally He ran and came close to the kid and caught him(kid), but he never forget his Play, as usual in football match when ball comes his hands will hv to hit sooner to players, As same way he taken the kid in his hand hit into the more...
Zoo Keeper:"Ive lost one of my elephants"Other Zoo Keeper:"Why dont you put an advert in the paper?"Zoo Keeper:"Dont be silly, he cant read!"
When Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip visited Sri Lanka in the early fifties they were taken to Bopaththalawa farm on tour. There she asked the keeper of a stud bull how many cows it serviced a day. The keeper replied twenty. Then she asked the keeper to tell that to the Prince. The Prince on hearing this told the keeper to tell the Queen that it is not the same bloody cow!
What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses? Nothing, he didnt recognize them!
One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office.
The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.
So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, more...
There was a gay man who had recently died and was going to heaven. He climbs up the stairs to heaven and meets a man who happens to be the keeper of heaven and hell. They begin walking to the gates so the gay man can be let in, all of a sudden the keeper drops his keys, and being gay the man jumps on top of him and begins to hump the keeper.
The keeper says, " what in the world are you doing, get off of me! I should send you to hell right now, but seeing as we are in heaven I should give you another chance". The gay man agrees.
Once again the keeper drops his keys and being gay the man jumps on him again the keeper says, " Oh my word get off of me right no I would be inclined to send you to hell but we are so close to the gates that I'ill give you one more chance, but that is it"! Once again the man agrees.
Sadly the keeper drops his keys one last time, the gay man jumps on top of him and is sent to hell. Well, being the keeper he is obligated to check more...