Kentucky Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How do you get the entire state of Kentucky into the Ohio River?
A:... throw in a quarter.
Q: How do you get the entire state of Kentucky *out* of the Ohio River?
A:... throw in a bar of soap.
Recently the fast food chain "Kentucky Fried Chicken" has been running
advertisements for their new buffet. In the television commercial, various
store personnel sing the praises of the buffet. They are not particularly good
singers, and the song is rather pathetic. The whole thing appears to have been
done in jest. This commercial is generally recognized (i.e., by a few of my
friends and I) as one of the dumbest in recent memory.
It seems that the local KFC franchise recognizes this as well. Yesterday the
sign outside the the store read (I am NOT making this up):
Try Our New Buffet
Or We'll Run The Commercial Again
Donald Eckard is standing trial in Kentucky after stealing rare documents from the Filson Historical Society. Among the stolen items was an ominous chain letter that Abraham Lincoln forgot to forward on to 20 people. Hmmmm.
Application to Live in KentuckyName: __________________________ Nickname: _________________________________CB Handle Model: _____________________ Color: ______________Address (RFD No.): _________________--_____________________________________Daddy (If unknown, list 3 suspects): ______________________________________Mamma: _________________________Neck Shade: _____Light Red _____Medium Red _____Dark RedNumber of teeth exposed in full grin: Upper_____ Lower_____Name of Pickup owned: _______________ Height of Truck__________Truck equipped with: ____Gun Rack ____4-Wheel Drive ____Confederate Flag____8-Track Cassettes ____Load of Wood ____Hijacker Shocks____Radar Detector ____Mag Wheels ____Dual CB Antennas____Spittoon ____Camper Top ____Air Horns____Mud Flaps ____Toothpick Holder ____Mud-Grip Tires____Raccoon Hide ____Big Dog ____Hunting RifleNumber of empty beer cans on floorboard or in bed of pickup truck: _____BUMPER STICKERS: ____Eat more Possum ____My other car is a piece of shit more...
Two Kentucky psychology majors were walking through the campus. "Do you consider a 1441.Q. high?" "Yes!" "For the whole basketball team?"
Two Kentucky hillbillies happened to meet in town. "How'rethangs with y'all, Pete?" one asked." Not bad atall," Pete replied. "My old woman ain't talkin' to me thiseyer week... and I ain't in no mood to interrupt her."
Three students from Michigan State, the University of Kentucky and Texas A & M on summer vacation in France were caught smuggling cocaine and sentenced to death by guillotine. The judge turned to the boy from Michigan and asked, "Do you have any final words, son?" "Yeah, drop dead!" snapped the Wolverine. Hearing this, the judge signaled for the sentence to be carried out. The executioner pulled the lever, and as the crowd gaped in astonishment, the giant blade came to a screeching halt three inches from the victim's throat. "It's God's will! Let him go!" cried the judge. Next the fella from U. of Kentucky was put on the block, and the judge asked again, "And what are your final remarks, my boy?" "Go to hell!" shouted the student, and the judge signaled. The razor-sharp blade fell and miraculously stopped just a quarter inch from the condemned boy's neck. "It's the wi ll of God!" exclaimed the judge. "Set him free!" more...