Labrador Jokes

Glenn took his dog to the veterinary clinic, and laid its limp body on the table. The doctor pulled out his stethoscope, listened to the dog's chest for a moment, then shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away.""What?" Glenn screamed. "You haven't even done any tests! I want another opinion."The vet left the room and returned in a few moments with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever sniffed the dog on the table carefully from head to toe. Finally, the Retriever shook it's head and barked once (meaning "dead and gone").The vet took the Labrador away and returned a few minutes later with a cat, which also sniffed carefully over the dog on the table before shaking its head and saying, "Meow" (meaning "he's gone"). After the cat jumped off the table, the vet handed Glenn a bill for $600. The man shook the bill at the vet. "$600!!!! Just to tell me my dog is dead?!!! That's outrageous!"The vet more...

A man in a bar with his Labrador at his feet was intrigued to see another dog owner enter the bar. "That's a strange looking dog you have there," he said.

"Yes, he is rather," said the newcomer, "But he's a great fighter."

"Is he now? I bet he isn't as good a fighter as my Fang here."

"All right - how much do you wanna bet?"

"Ten dollars."

"You're on."

So the two men let their dogs fight. Eventually the Labrador crawled, battered and bloody, to his master's side.

"I'd never thought I'd see Fang get defeated," said the loser's master, handing over the ten dollars, "Especially by such an odd-looking one like yours."

"Yes, he does look a little peculiar," agreed the winner's master. "But he looked even odder before I shaved his mane off..."

Collie + Lhasa Apso Collapso: a dog that folds up for easy transport
Spitz + Chow Chow Spitz-Chow: a dog that throws up a lot
Pointer + Setter Poinsettera: traditional Christmas pet
Malamute + Pointer Moot Point: owned by.... oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund Pyradachs: a puzzling breed
Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso Peekasso: an abstract dog
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel Irish Springer: a dog fresh and clean as a whistle
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever Lab Coat Retriever: the choice of research scientists
Newfoundland + Basset Hound Newfound Asset Hound: a dog for financial advisors
Terrier + Bulldog Terribull: a dog that makes awful mistakes
Bloodhound + Labrador Blabador: a dog that barks incessantly
Collie + Malamute Commute: a dog that travels to work
Deerhound + Terrier Derriere: a dog that's true to the end
Bull Terrier + Shitzu Bull:. .. Oh, never mind

Glenn took his dog to the veterinary clinic, and laid its limp body on the table. The doctor pulled out his stethoscope, listened to the dog's chest for a moment, then shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away."
"What?" Glenn screamed. "You haven't even done any tests! I want another opinion."
The vet left the room and returned in a few moments with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever sniffed the dog on the table carefully from head to toe. Finally, the Retriever shook it's head and barked once (meaning "dead and gone").
The vet took the Labrador away and returned a few minutes later with a cat, which also sniffed carefully over the dog on the table before shaking its head and saying, "Meow" (meaning "he's gone").
After the cat jumped off the table, the vet handed Glenn a bill for $600. The man shook the bill at the vet. "$600!!!! Just to tell me my dog is dead?!!! That's more...

The following breeds are now recognized by both the American and the Canadian Kennel Clubs:
Collie + Lhasa Apso = Collapso. A dog that folds up for easy transport.
Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter. A traditional Christmas pet.
Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso. An abstract dog.
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever. The choice of research scientists.
Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound. A dog suitable for financial advisors.
Spitz + Chow Chow = Spitz-Chow. A dog that throws up quite often.
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer. A dog as fresh and clean as a whistle.
Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador. A dog that barks incessantly.
Collie + Malamute = Commute. A dog that commutes to work.
Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere. A dog that's true to the end.
Bull Terrier + ShihTzu = Ummm, oh... never mind!