Labrador Jokes / Recent Jokes

Glenn took his dog to the veterinary clinic, and laid its limp body on the table. The doctor pulled out his stethoscope, listened to the dog's chest for a moment, then shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away.""What?" Glenn screamed. "You haven't even done any tests! I want another opinion."The vet left the room and returned in a few moments with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever sniffed the dog on the table carefully from head to toe. Finally, the Retriever shook it's head and barked once (meaning "dead and gone").The vet took the Labrador away and returned a few minutes later with a cat, which also sniffed carefully over the dog on the table before shaking its head and saying, "Meow" (meaning "he's gone"). After the cat jumped off the table, the vet handed Glenn a bill for $600. The man shook the bill at the vet. "$600!!!! Just to tell me my dog is dead?!!! That's outrageous!"The vet more...

Glenn took his dog to the veterinary clinic, and laid its limp body on the table. The doctor pulled out his stethoscope, listened to the dog's chest for a moment, then shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away."
"What?" Glenn screamed. "You haven't even done any tests! I want another opinion."
The vet left the room and returned in a few moments with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever sniffed the dog on the table carefully from head to toe. Finally, the Retriever shook it's head and barked once (meaning "dead and gone").
The vet took the Labrador away and returned a few minutes later with a cat, which also sniffed carefully over the dog on the table before shaking its head and saying, "Meow" (meaning "he's gone").
After the cat jumped off the table, the vet handed Glenn a bill for $600. The man shook the bill at the vet. "$600!!!! Just to tell me my dog is dead?!!! That's more...

A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. As he lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away."
"What?" screamed the man. "How can you tell? You haven't done any testing on him or anything. I want another opinion!"
With that, the vet turned and left the room. In a few moments, he returned with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever went right to work, checking the poor dead dog out thoroughly with his nose. After a considerable amount of sniffing, the Retriever sadly shook his head and said, "Bark" (meaning "dead as a doornail").
The veterinarian then took the Labrador out and returned in a few moments with a cat, who also carefully sniffed out the poor dog on the table. As had his predecessors, the cat sadly shook his head and said, more...

The following breeds are now recognized by the AKC:

Collie + Lhasa Apso
Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport

Spitz + Chow Chow
Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot

Pointer + Setter
Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet

Great Pyrenees + Dachshund
Pyradachs, a puzzling breed

Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso
Peekasso, an abstract dog

Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel
Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle

Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever
Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists

Newfoundland + Basset Hound
Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors

Terrier + Bulldog
Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes

Bloodhound + Labrador
Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly

Malamute + Pointer
Moot Point, owned by....oh, well, it doesn't matter more...

The following breeds are now recognized by both the American and the Canadian Kennel Clubs:
Collie + Lhasa Apso = Collapso. A dog that folds up for easy transport.
Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter. A traditional Christmas pet.
Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso. An abstract dog.
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever. The choice of research scientists.
Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound. A dog suitable for financial advisors.
Spitz + Chow Chow = Spitz-Chow. A dog that throws up quite often.
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer. A dog as fresh and clean as a whistle.
Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador. A dog that barks incessantly.
Collie + Malamute = Commute. A dog that commutes to work.
Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere. A dog that's true to the end.
Bull Terrier + ShihTzu = Ummm, oh... never mind!

A man in a bar with his Labrador at his feet was intrigued to see another dog owner enter the bar. "That's a strange looking dog you have there," he said.
"Yes, he is rather," said the newcomer, "But he's a great fighter."
"Is he now? I bet he isn't as good a fighter as my Fang here."
"All right - how much do you wanna bet?"
"Ten dollars."
"You're on."
So the two men let their dogs fight. Eventually the Labrador crawled, battered and bloody, to his master's side.
"I'd never thought I'd see Fang get defeated," said the loser's master, handing over the ten dollars, "Especially by such an odd-looking one like yours."
"Yes, he does look a little peculiar," agreed the winner's master. "But he looked even odder before I shaved his mane off..."

Dog Breeds that did not make it:
Deerhound + Terrier
Derriere, a dog that's true to the end
Spitz + Chow Chow
Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot
Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier
Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund
Pyradachs, a puzzling breed
Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso
Peekasso, an abstract dog
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel
Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever
Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists
Newfoundland + Basset Hound
Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors
Terrier + Bulldog
Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes
Bloodhound + Labrador
Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly
Malamute + Pointer
Moot Point, owned by...oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway
Collie + Malamute
Commute, a dog that travels to work with you
Bloodhound + Borzoi
Bloody Bore, a more...