Larry Jokes / Recent Jokes

...talk show host Larry King's new book "My Remarkable Journey" is now available...in it he discusses his greatest triumphs, like overcomming a rough childhood, his first job in broadcasting, and how exciting it was meeting the Virgin Mary.

Larry King supports Barack Obama's health care plan because he'll be able to keep his own personal mortician.

Two gay guys, Larry and Casey, lived together.

One day, it was really hot and Larry came home and found Casey with his ass in the freezer.

Larry exclaimed,"Casey, what the hell are you doing with your ass in the freezer?!?"

Casey replied, "It's so hot outside that I thought you would like something cool to slip into."

Larry's barn burned down, and Susan, his wife, called the insurance company. .. Susan: We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money. Agent: Whoa there just a minute, Susan; it doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one of comparable worth. Susan, after a pause: I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband.

Three ladies are sitting in a bar. All of them have husbands named Larry. One lady asks, "If you could name your husband after any soda pop, what would it be?" The first lady thinks for a minute and says, "Moutain Dew, because he can mount and do me anytime." The second lady thinks for awhile and finally says, "7-Up, because he has seven inches and can always get it up." The third lady thinks for a long time and finally says, "Jack Daniels." The other ladies look at her with a confused look and say, "Wait a minute, Jack Daniels is a hard liquor." The third lady says, "Yep, thats my Larry!"

Mariah Carey told Larry King that she drank what she called "ugly juice" to prepare for her role in the film "Precious". When the talk show host asked her what it tastes like, Mariah looked at him and replied, "Oh please, Larry, you were obviously raised on the stuff!"

A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, She sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?" "Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"