Laugh Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man walks into a bar and sits down and orders a drink.
He then notices a Jar that is full of money. The man asks the bartender what the jar is for. The bartender then says that he has a donkey in the back room and if anyone can make him him laugh they win the money. If not they owe me 100 dollars.
The man say I can do it!
So he goes into the back room and about 5 minutes later the bartender hears the donkey laughing out loud. The man walks out and takes the money from the jar, thanks the bartender, and leaves.
About a month later the man comes back into the bar and there is a new jar of money. The man asks the bartender what the new jar of money is for.
The bartender looks at the man and says if you can make the donkey cry the money is yours, if not you owe me 100 dollars. The man says ok I'll do it!
He walks into the back room and about 2 minutes has goes by when the bartender hears the donkey crying. The man walks out and grabs the money out of the jar, but more...
TRUE STORY
BG&E received a call from a customer saying, "My power is out. When you come to fix it be sure to bring a truck with a tall enough bucket to remove the deer."
The customer service rep, prudently trying to gather information to help diagnose the problem asked, "What deer?"
The customer replied, "There is a deer on top of one of the electric poles on Wilkes Rd about 1/2 mile west of Perimeter Rd."
The customer service rep tried desperately to pull herself together and not laugh in front of the customer and replied, "We'll dispatch someone right away to investigate the power outage, thank you for the call."
Upon completion of the call, the customer service rep proceeded to share the funny story with her coworkers in the office and they all had a good laugh.
Well, lo and behold, the serviceman who repaired the problem stopped by the customer service office the following day pictures.
Sure enough, the more...
You've decided to stay in college for an extra year or two for the free internet access.
Your family always knows where to find you.
You don't laugh in real life conversations, you just say LOL, LOL.
You use smileys in your snail mail.
You can't correspond with your family/friends because they don't have a computer.
You laugh at people with 56K modems.
You write 'com' after every period at the end of a sentence.
You feel depressed when your email box shows 'no new messages'.
You feel like you've pulled the plug on a loved one when you shut down your computer.
After waking up to go to the bathroom, you stop to check your email on the way back to bed.
Great news! Kurt Metzger has begun writing a How-To book about standup comedy! It's called "How To Do Comedy!" by Kurt Metzger. It is almost entirely lifted from the shitty book by Judy Carter about standup, except I made it better!
Here is an excerpt! Enjoy!
Chapter 1
P. 1- Intro.
Do you think you are funny? Are people constantly laughing and pointing at your many handicaps? Do people wet their pants when you say things, or sometimes laugh so hard that they wet your pants? Do you dream of having your own sitcom about your hilarious times growing up as a fat Italian even though you are black? Do you have what it takes to pay me upwards of 15 American dollars for a book about standup comedy? If the answer is yes, then you, sir, may have the dedication and substance abuse problem it takes to become a working, standup comic! If you do, read on, but only if you are indeed a sir and not a ma'am, as women are not funny. (More on this topic in Chapter 3: Women are more...
there were two twins, Elikem And Stephen. They liked to fool to people and laugh at them as their hobbies.
One day, they met a man called Majibo. A very big headed man with a big body a heavy black boo.
They started to laugh at him.
Then Majibo shouted to his friend to catch him.
This is what ensued between the twins and MAjibo when they were broight to him.
Majibo: Why did you boys laugh at me
The Twins: We were not laughing at you but your black heavy boo and body
Majibo: ok, come over here
majibo called some of his friends to call them and he said that they should be naked right away.
The Twins: why are you doing this majibo, dont you have some of our boos.
Majibo: do you want to see it??
The Twins: yes of course
the majibo removed his boo and he used his kortie to beat them until they bevame fat as him.
by:
Emmanuel and Abideen
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.